-creates a dwarf named Grumps the Headbasher.
-Grumps wakes up from a torture room on a ship.
-Grumps does not remember how he ended up there
-Grumps meets a lady magister.
-the Lady called grumps a dog.
-Grumps was not impressed and showed her how he got the title Headbasher.
-Grumps accidentally killed the lady magister.
-everyone is mad at grumps.
-Grumps kills everyone
-Grumps walks in a room and finds a chunk of flesh
-Grumps decided to eat it because he thought he would get healed by it.
-instead Grumps killed himself because the flesh took his last point of HP.
-this was the end of the chronicles of Grumps the Headbasher, who single handedly killed 4 guards but died of food poisoning.

EDIT

And now since people started saying this isn't a review. no it is not it is simply a joke when i first started the game without any clue as to what i might end up with. i was at a moment of weakness when i just got my salary and came home drunk. so the next morning i started playing the game. here's an actual review based on my 9 hours of playtime.

the pros:
-you have total freedom on how you want to play the game
(could also be seen as a ♥♥♥ at times)

-indepth turnbased combat
(height matters and you have to anticipate that sometimes out from the shadows people can turn up to kill you)

-the origin characters have rich personality's and you don't really have to play as them to influence their story since they can also be your companions.

-story length.

there are 3 story acts that have a suprisingly long playtime and each time you want to replay it it's almost always different since like i said you have total freedom over what you will do. ( i play multiple characters but right now i am about 6 hours in on my undead witch and i haven't even come close to finish act 1 and from what i've heard of others act 1 can easily become 15 hours of playtime)

-OPTIMIZATION! this game's beautifull combat effects can clutter your whole screen and your computer (or laptop) can still run it smoothly

Now some small ♥♥♥♥:

-*total freedom on how you play.
sure is nice to play it however you want but... you must also discover each mechanic yourself (this is also how Grumps started a fight because i accidentally stole a book infront of the magister and also may have hit her with a knife before) also you can miss allot of story contents if you randomly kill people.

-tutorial is a bit vague sometimes and forgettable when you get too much on your plate because at same time you are fighting and trying to predict what your enemy is going to do.

after this there aren't many ♥♥♥♥ about this game that i can mention until i have actually experienced the full game and not just act 1. call me biased but just of the sheer size of the game you should try it. i can already sense this has allot of replay value.