yo, pepsi, i miss u so much… pls come bak. it’s so dead here w/out u, “The Queen of Harvard,” throwin on baby oil n sayin, “self-care is key,” while draggin every black girl on campus into ur glossy madness. who else slides through study sessions shiny enough to blind ppl n goes, “it’s all about the glow”? and bro, ur bong obsession? unmatched. no one rips like u, “Professor Puff,” “Mistress of Smoke,” “Bongarella the Bold.” u’d be in the library at midnight, oiled up n sayin, “one more hit, then I’ll ace this exam.” spoiler: u never stopped at one. life’s dull w/out u, “Pepsi the Polished,” leavin every room smellin like lavender oil n burnt kush. come bak, “The Glossy Goddess.” no one else could balance Harvard grind, bong rips, n team oil-ups like u. luv u always, girl… n ur shiny chaos.

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