Things you need to know about me. First off, if we go out, you're paying. Not just for me, but for my wife if she shows up. And she's a drinker. Sex isn't guaranteed after that. If I'm interested, I'll place my underpants on the table. Fold them in three and place in your handbag. Return them washed, and we will consummate passionately. I dislike women who aren't shallow. A plus, if you wear my moms perfume and fit perfectly in the void she left. I'm 6 foot and 4 inches. Those are two different measurements.

So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our fellow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun. Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop . "Go ahead" I say. "The gun is only 400 years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds?" Instantly the gang-banger drops his weapon and runs. My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I dont smile because i was only doing my duty. Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare.