wew lad



Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus.

What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot. I will ♥♥♥♥ fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kiddo.

I sexually identify as a turkey. ever since I was a little boy, I dreamed of being stuffed and covered with gravy and eaten by fat ♥♥♥♥♥ all over the nation. People say that a person being a turkey is impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I had a plastic surgeon attach chicken wings to my belly and a gizzard to my neck. from now on I want you to call me "gobble" and respect my right to give you stomachaches. If you can't accept me you're a turkiphobe and should go ♥♥♥♥ yourself. thank you for being so understanding.