Until today. This morning was my father's funeral. At the procession, my brother asked me to say a few words. I told him I only needed one.

With confidence, I approached the podium. I gazed out upon the gathering of sad faces. I cleared my throat and leaned into the microphone.

"Yeet," I spake.

Suddenly, my father leapt from his hand-crafted mahogany coffin, the gunshot wound still in his chest. He sprinted up to the podium with the energy of a man without a gunshot wound in his chest.

"Y'all hittin' that dirty ♥♥♥♥♥♥' yeet at my funeral?" he ejaculated. He raised his hand to thump me.

"Not so fast, pa." I grabbed his hand. "Yaint thumpin' no mo'."

My father looked at me with eyes as open as the gunshot wound in his chest. A tear fell from his right eye, which also had a monocle. "The student becomes the teacher," he said.

"The student becomes the yeetcher," I corrected him.

One day, when I was still but a wee lad, I became curious. I was in my room, watching Instagram videos of fellas my age hittin' that yeet all over town without a care in the world. My intentions got the better of me. I stood up, my knees trembling. Carefully, I leaned onto my right foot and raised my hand in the air.

I breathed in.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

My father burst from my closet. "I told you I'd thump ya if I ever caught you hittin' that yeet, ♥♥♥♥♥," he ejaculated. Then, he thumped me.

I haven't hit that yeet since.

🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴
🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴
🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴
🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴♥♥♥🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴

Happy birthday!!❤🎂 SLUT 😍😘 You’ll get cummies 💦💦 from daddy 😏😫 as a present 🎁 If you send this to 5 👋 other birthday 🎂❤🎂 sluts and you’ll get lots of yummy 😩 cummies 💦😏💦👅 If you don’t 🙅 you won’t get ANY cummies 😭😞😢 If you get 5 back you’re the birthday slut queen 👑 🙌 If you get 10 back you’re the supreme ♥♥♥♥♥ 😍😘😩