You are GAY XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

-rep waits for me to be hungry because she doesnt wanna cook food

Hey,

This is Rick from the small ♥♥♥♥ store. Sorry, we can't accept your return, you tried to return a 10" shlong, but the max we sell is the 2" shlong. Your slong is probably more likely from the big shlong store.

Thanks,
Rick

smelly puppy

Schrodinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmosome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

You laugh while I ride on a £500,000 bus, walk to my house down a road that the council paid £2,000,000 per mile to pave, turn on my water that comes from a £200,000,000 water treatment system and make calls using a billion dollar cellular network. Try not being poor.