Coge
Nick   United States
 
 
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För närvarande Offline
Doge
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Mest sällsynt prestation-monter
Senaste aktiviteterna
7,6 timmar totalt
spelades senast den 21 dec
44 timmar totalt
spelades senast den 21 dec
125 timmar totalt
spelades senast den 21 dec
Kobin 26 apr, 2019 @ 9:44 
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbor's nicky. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Kobin 6 dec, 2017 @ 7:21 
I was humping over a triple day catching just enough dips in the sleeper to comply with DOT paper trails. It was one of those, catching that drift somewhere outside of Barstow on the desert moments fueled with no-doz, cept I was closer to catching the rays of morning in Nebraska if I kept moving. The shadows started darting around the headlights and I figured I needed to stop, if only for a bit. So I decide to stop at this rest area with a little diner attached. There's a Nicky in here who seems tired as hell. I sit down and ask for some coffee and waffles. Nicky says "what?" Must have been the sleep so I raise my voice and I look at him and say "COFFEE AND WAFFLES" and he laughs a little. Sounds like a smoker. He goes to take my order. The coffee was strong and the waffles were good. I get back on the road and feel mostly better. Then right as I'm about to high tail the payload out of Kansas I see this ♥♥♥♥ in the door. I made it early to drop off either way and got the bonus.
RootbeerWrangler 28 nov, 2017 @ 22:06 
Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare in Nicky's eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.
Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume. He should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and appear visibly shaken.
Begin to piss and ♥♥♥♥ yourself and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. By now, you're chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs.
Nicky will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.
Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.
Kobin 28 nov, 2017 @ 21:45 
PART III: Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Kobin 28 nov, 2017 @ 21:45 
PART II: And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.