Bodega Ott KENNEDY24''s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 4:11pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 4:22pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 5:41pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2016 @ 5:41pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 5:01pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:37pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 5:20pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2014 @ 2:54pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 12 Dec, 2016 @ 7:12pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 1:57pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:20am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 8:25pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2023 @ 3:11pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 12 Dec, 2016 @ 7:30pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2016 @ 7:47pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 7:51pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 2:34pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2016 @ 5:27pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 4:58pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2023 @ 6:48am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2016 @ 7:09pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2023 @ 3:18pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 22 Oct, 2017 @ 12:32pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2016 @ 6:02pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:29am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 12:39pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 8:26pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2023 @ 3:50pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2023 @ 3:14pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 5:41pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 12 Dec, 2016 @ 6:28pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:43pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 18 May, 2014 @ 7:23am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2022 @ 4:35pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:36pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:39pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 18 May, 2014 @ 7:23am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:10pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:42pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:33pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2014 @ 6:04pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 5:13pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 12 Dec, 2016 @ 8:06pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 4:04pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:41pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2014 @ 3:30pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 4:50pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2022 @ 5:25pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2016 @ 6:01pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 8:26pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2022 @ 2:44pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2022 @ 4:49pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2022 @ 4:15pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2022 @ 4:33pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2016 @ 12:21pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2022 @ 2:35pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2022 @ 5:15pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2022 @ 5:24pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 6:02pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2016 @ 7:20pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

8 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

9 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

10 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,805 / 5,000