Recent reviews by Artuurs

What the ♥♥♥♥ is wrong with this game, it LAGS CONSTANTLY, its litearly unplayable, i cant do anything, i cant click anything, everything BARELY moves INCHES, constant 15 second or so freeze frames, game is constantly on the cousp of crashing, i have to spam clicking to get somewhere and it barely registers, moves or recognizes inputs, this is a lag fest, freeze fest of a game, and why is that, because theres 800+ cards in the game? Cant be, Yugioh Master Duel has like 10,000 cards ingame and it doesnt lag AT ALL. *sigh* ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ piece of ♥♥♥♥ game, dont play it. Id say play Horus Heresy Legions or Warpforge for your Warhammer card game needs but those games arent good either, so, yeah, tough luck.

Shallower than a puddle, depthless than a tin can, cringy tryhard attempt to be hip, cool and with the times, content lacking, repetetively tiring, unattractively bland, stale and boring, unbaerable trash music, buggy, glitchy, unfun, gets old so quick, no sexy women whatsoever and a little bit woke with some identity politics going on, I litearly only played for the achievements. Its a competent, fine, bog standart cookie cutter TPS, there is NOTHING special or unique about this game, ive played hundreds of games like this troughout my entire life, it has nothing to offer to hold me to it. Credit where its due, the ragdoll physics of dead bodies upon death, bouncing around, flying around, is hilarious :D for the first few times it happens that is, then its just, meh, like the actual game, meh game.

Awfull, awfull game. If you try to play it how its intended, you are way too slow, your opponents, way too quick, way too good or too lucky or whatever, and it feels AGONIZING, unable to run or make yourself obvious, unable to freely look while moving, told to not use A and D, it feels like TORTURE. I have no patience for such a snail pace repetetive cycle, i eventualy only ran around, and if i was attacked, id just take them all out anyway. But yeah, its not fun, its repetetive, tedious, fustrating, agonizing, unbareable.

The game is also woke with its portraits/pictures/avatars selection. Only like 3 maps. One of the most restrictive battle passes ive seen. A big fat condescending warning in your face when you start up the game. This game has like, no content, for it to be worth a full price, or heck, even a discount, you will get tired, bored, REAL fast, very easily, very quickly you will see all there is to it, theres not much to it, extremely repetetive. Atleast you can quickly & easily unlock the agents?

I gotta give credit where its due though, music? Very nice. Dialogue? Good. Presentation? Pretty neat. The charm of the characters? Quite swell. Game comes across appealing, but, man, appeal isnt everything, no matter how nice Red's & Cavaliere's shoes and feet are, alongside a couple other female civlians, Ann & Olivia, and dont get me wrong, those are some nice feet, but their not the asking price nice, ya know?

But uh, if you try this game on a free weekend like i did, you try this that one time, and thats it, thats all youre ever gonna need to get out of it, one, two, maybe three sessions, decent lenght sessions, will be enough to expierience all there realy is. But uhm, you know, idea is... unique? I guess? Vibes are great, spies are cool, so you know, props for taking a risk, i suppose? Good luck, what can i say.

I mean, if youre looking for a game like this, what are the alternatives? Trouble In Terrorist Town Gmod? The many various town of Salem clone games out there? Prop Hunt stuff? That one 1vs1 snipe the spy game? Not too much choice for a game like this, like... its not the worst of the worst but its not good i dont think but if you REALY want a spy game, *sigh* maybe on a huge, huge discount, i dunno man, hard to say, hard to sell this to you's.
P.S. you know the achievement where i gotta call in a getaway car at all 3 locations? I did that, and i didnt get the achievement... *sigh* how annoying =/

I used to play this game on the mobile a few years back, i noticed its on steam and felt like, screw it, lets play it. Enjoyable for the 1st hour only or untill you hit the grind/paywall, and then it grinds down to a halt, so, your typical mobile game. Now, dont get me wrong, its a beautifull, enjoyable, fun game that looks great, plays well, has fantastic music aside from one track i wish i could delete, lovely car models with fantastic damage destruction suprisingly enough, its suprising what the devs were able to do with mobile devices, the tracks & worlds to put in. But ofcourse, its a mobile game, so theres very few tracks in there, content is regurtiated and recycled constantly, youre on a daily & weekly grind, and some horrible person in charge of achievements, steam ones that is, made the last 4 achievements, take over 100 hours to get, their not challanging or hard, they simply rob you of your time to grind them out, its horrible, i hate you so so much, whoever made me collect 30 cars, complete 30 seasons, etc. bastard. But uh, yeah, its a mobile game, dont come here expecting anything amazing, play for a hour or so and leave.

They litearly made this game unplayable offline, they force you to make and use a 2K account or something, i was stuck without internet, i tried to play this and i couldnt, even with the Alternative Launcher Mod installed which was supposed to circumvent that, just like it was years ago, i hate you 2K so much, to hell with you. I cant believe i have to make a review warning to other people, without even talking about the game itself but i mean, its so modded and expanded by both devs and players, its honestly a worthy pick up, esspecialy when it was discounted for 2 euros one time ABSOLUTE STEAL, anyway f this company, they had no reason to do this, doing this was absolutely pointless, it brought zero benefits but tremendous amounts of detriments, where game has become LITEARLY UNPLAYABLE, a brick. I have to reinstall and try fix it if its possible, i hope players have figured it out, you gotta look around discussions, forums, guides, other reviews, see any solutions to actualy playing what you pay for here, its borderline a scam and a robbery to sell you a game, and then go out of your way to make it unplayable, never addressing that issue ever, bastards.

They went woke with this ''definitive'' edition with some new units but most of all, sterilizing the native civilizations that used to have the Fire Pit which, let me tell you, looked awesome, fire going on, awesome fun looking circle dance of 25 villagers going on, it was great looking, and what did they do? They turned it into a unfinished football field where villagers... just... stand around... doing nothing... its so lifeless, dead, boring looking.... when you claim to go for counsils, you admit that youre not doing it for genuine good reasons but rather for woke activist points, things were fine as they were and you made it worse, among other things with economy, mechanics, etc. just terrible, terrible changes. Thanks for the free trial though, the ONLY good thing done with this, litearly nothing else is, old game is still better, looks better, god i hate the awfull new HUD and UI, its so bad, loved the old one, looked so much better, *sigh*

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I tried to create an account but it doesnt let me
I SOMEHOW, APPARENTLY, ALREADY HAVE AN ACCOUNT... uhm, okay?
So i change the password to be able to get in then
Account error.... okay but why though? What kind of error? WHY cant i play?!?!?
Stupid game

Me chilling.

Evil incompetent group of strangers comes knocking at my door.

I ask: Whos there?

The terrible developers reply: Blizzard.
I ask again: Blizzard who? The Blizzard who made the fantastic Starcraft 1, the cool Warcraft 1, the wonderfull Warcraft 2, the great Warcraft 3, the amazing Diablo 1 and the nice Diablo 2?

The awfull publisher replies: No, ACTIVISION Blizzard, who made the diabolical and bad Diablo 3 that was greedy and unfinished, the murderer of an entire genre called Starcraft 2 that had an awfull fetch quest mass murderering redemption simp story, the cancelers of Starcraft Ghost because we were intimidated by C&C Renegade to compete like we always did, the same guys who teammed up with the devil called Bobay Kotakutick and sold our souls to, the cancelers of Titan because Bobby ordered us to, the makers of Overwatch that we made out of using the aborted models we were just about to delete but decided not to let go to waste so we made a competitor to Team Fortress 2, a admitedly better game than ours because we realy believed the rumor coming from people who said that any game that we copy, and yes, every game we have ever made, is a copy, is better than the original, well, turns out its not true, we were also responsible for popularizing loot boxes or as 21Killotons, a funny and honest youtuber would say, pedocaches, albeit you could argue Valve did it but people blame us for it and we dont mind taking that credit. Whenever our game isnt on the spotlight, we love to retroactively turn our characters gay, it gives ''journalists'' fuel to write articles which gather attention on our game, keeping it alive, just a bit longer, because its dying, why do you think we're out here, trying to barge into your home you call steam? We also partnered with the chinese, not just because we pander to them the most out of all demographics, for money obviously, but we did it to give you Diablo Immortal, which is DEFINETLY NOT greedy and horrible, if you dare to say otherwise, we will make an example out of you like we did with Blitzchung, the two commentators, and anyone remotely associated or not associated with our office party activities with women, censoring the games, and filling them up with diversity quotas to make ourselves look good, so dont even try okay? We're good people, believe us, and you better not try to remember when we tried to expose all of our customers identities if they wanted to talk on our forums. Anyway, yeah, Overwatch was a bad game since day 1 but who cares, we're Blizzard, people love us simply for our name, we cannot fail :D ignore the fact that there were better games out there to ours, ignore them! We also made Diablo 4 and totaly lied about everything regarding it, its totaly not inferior to Diablo 1 & 2, we swear guys, we swear to you!!! So, with that said can we come in?

Me realizing: OOOOH its you awfull guys, hahaha, yeah, no, you can stay outside, youre not welcome here :)

ActiveLizard gets upset: Screw it, we're coming in anyway boys!
Its at this moment, Blizzarded Actovon realized, they screwed up, as they get a welcome of their own making, the welcome they deserve, for everything they have ever done, in LESS than just 10 years of amount of attrocities committted, the welcomers numbered in 47 thousand people and with more coming to greet them apropriately, knowing their history, and the game itself they had brought with them and everything thats wrong with it, the welcome was something Actung Blundered was not ready for, so they quietly backed out and closed the door.

The End =)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu0Ql2ms_QU this is an awfull game.