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2002 - I'm enlisted in the Army. I was conditioned to lie about my mental state on all kinds of psychiatric tests to pass off as a normal kid, and by this time I've taken so many that I already know how to play the system. The result - I am driving a 10-tonner and I'm wielding an AK-47. My commanders quickly pick up on my retardation, especially after the toilet incident (I was caught guarding the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with an AK, "so that the enemy doesn't poop in our toilets"). I am still allowed to prance around with a machine gun, but everyone is instructed never, ever to give actual bullets to me.

MELONS

Whattup dude~