Recent reviews by asswoopman

Do you remember when you first played MineCraft? You punched that first tree, made your first crafting table, and a few minutes later you had your stone tools and a little hole in the ground, and you're thinking "Oh god, I am going to spend a long time playing this."

Well get ready to feel that again. I Fetch Rocks is massively immersive and challenging yet rewarding. I have only managed to fetch 3 rocks, and I can't wait to fetch 30 more.

This game pretends you're in control of everything, but it turns out that you're in control of nothing. Order your ships to blockade a planet? You'll find they have taken off to another system. Send your ships somewhere? Oh no, they have to stand around for a bit first. Maybe attack an enemy outpost? Your ships will arrive one at a time and get hammered one at a time in an orderly fashion.

The game feels like it was made in the 90's, and the developers didn't keep up with the changes and improvements made since then. You click a ship, but if you click and drag your mouse to move the interface, it will un-select the ships - so to order your ships to do something far away, you have to use the scroll wheel and zoom out then back in, or keep another interface open allowing you to remotely select them. Oh but don't double click, or you'll be zoomed in on the selected item pointlessly close. I had problems like this with Dune 2, I did not expect it on DW2.

This game is Factorio for idiots. The UI was built by someone who was frozen in the 80's and was unfrozen to develop this game. It's pretty as hell, but that's the main draw. The tutorial lacks any helpful input, beyond a single "HERE'S ALL THE BUTTONS LOL" and the voice exposition appears to have been written by a 10 year old who just learned what "The Environment" is.

My note to the developers: play the first 30 minutes of Factorio to see what a good tutorial looks like. Messages that tell you what buttons to press, off-map free build areas to build and practice technique. The list goes on.

If that doesn't work, try Satisfactory - rinse and repeat.

Mike drop

Clunky game play - clearly a clumsy port from console that doesn't translate well to PC. ~5 hours of game play, which is straight up dismal. Levels are repetitious, and are little more than a series of environmental hazards.

UI is gross - little HUD indicators don't scale well to any monitor size. Bad guys come in two sizes: one hit kill, and solve a puzzle to kill - not a different puzzle, the same one each time you encounter it.

You know what you should get instead of this? Lego Star Wars. Mechanics are nearly identical (use the force to solve puzzles) and fights are equally engaging, moving around is just as frustrating.

Buy this game if you have gotten someone you don't really like for secret santa, and want to waste 10 hours of their time. 5 hours of game play and 5 hours of troubleshooting nearly constant crashes to desktop.

Challenging, exciting, customisable, moddable. There's a lot of ways to play it and always room to get better. Just when you think you've mastered it all, whole new ways of doing things open up to you and challenge everything you thought you were good at.