Three old farts are sitting in the cafeteria of a convalescent home. One's named Ade, one's named Kingsie, the other's named Thomas. After reminiscing about old times, they begin to talk about their bodily failings.

Ade: "I wish I could have a strong pee stream again. These days, I pee like a busted faucet, barely dribbling any water."

Kingsie: "I wish I could have a strong, solid poo again. These days, I'm as backed up as a Manhattan traffic jam!"

Thomas, in comparison, is beaming: "Every morning at 7am, I have the strongest pee. I'm like an uncapped fire hydrant, a veritable broken dam, a stream of cascading lemonade! Then, at 7:15am, I pass the easiest and strongest poo! Like a 12 ton boulder rolling down a hill!"

Ade, jealously, says: "You show-off."

Kingsie: "Then what the heck is your problem?"

Thomas: "Well, the problem is that I don't get out of bed until 9am."