Colt 45 Malt Liquor's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 8:33am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 8:03am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 8:12am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 2:21pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2021 @ 10:34pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2021 @ 10:35pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 8:44am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 9:42am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 3:20pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 5:29pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 6:58pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2021 @ 2:00pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2022 @ 6:25pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 3:59pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 3:23pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2021 @ 1:48pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2021 @ 7:44am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2021 @ 6:10pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2021 @ 9:25pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2022 @ 6:14pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 6:11pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2021 @ 10:58am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2021 @ 11:39am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2024 @ 5:32pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2021 @ 11:59am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 3:00pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 6:47pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2022 @ 6:27pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 4:11pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2021 @ 10:11pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 8 May, 2023 @ 6:11pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 8 May, 2023 @ 6:11pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2021 @ 12:01pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2021 @ 3:40pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 2:47pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 4:41pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 6:26pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 2:51pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2021 @ 9:20pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 3:23pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 2:59pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2021 @ 10:37pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 16 Aug, 2021 @ 3:19am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2021 @ 10:03pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 8:13am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 4:53pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2021 @ 12:11pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 6 Mar, 2022 @ 2:52pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2021 @ 4:37pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 2:37pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2021 @ 10:06am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2021 @ 9:41pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2021 @ 10:39am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 5:41pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 5:20pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2021 @ 10:34am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2021 @ 10:14pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 8 May, 2023 @ 6:11pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2021 @ 6:31pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

15 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30