Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguó xiànzài wǒ yǒu BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 wǒ hěn xǐhuān BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 dànshì sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 sùdù yǔ jīqíng sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 wǒ zuì xǐhuān suǒyǐ…xiànzài shì yīnyuè shíjiān zhǔnbèi 1 2 3 liǎng gè lǐbài yǐhòu sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 ×3 bùyào wàngjì bùyào cu òguò jìdé qù diànyǐngyuàn kàn sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 yīn wéi fēicháng hǎo diànyǐng dòngzuò fēicháng hǎo chàbùduō yīyàng BING CHILLING 🥶🍦zàijiàn 🥶🍦

SWAT kicking down my meth lab door: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND
Me (with cat ears on): oh nyoez!!! Sowwy mister gubbermemt ;‘3 I can haz weduced sentence fow compwiance?
SWAT guy: *shoots me in the head*

ill have you know that i live, breathe, and FRUCKING WORSHIP jesus. who do u think u are cursing in MY CHRISTIAN FRUCKING GROUP CHAAT. dont denie it, i saw that u said “ur mom gay”. ill have u know that my mom isnt gay and UR EXCOMUNNICATED frum this group chat. that will serve u right. loser. ha get shreked i heckin flippin LOSER. hahahahha HAHAHAHAHAHA. nothin personnel kid😎😎😉

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⠀⣠⠀⢿⠇⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢷⡗
⠀⢶⢽⠿⣗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡧⠂⠀⠀⣼⣷⡆
⠀⠀⣾⢶⠐⣱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣜⣻⣧⣲⣦⠤⣧⣿⠶
⠀⢀⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⡹⣿⣷
⠀⢸⣿⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠿⠃⠈⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⠿⠿

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⠀⣿⡟⡇⠀⠭⡋⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣟⢿
⠀⣹⡌⠀⠀⣨⣾⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⠔⠌
⠰⣷⣿⡀⢐⢿⣿⣿⢻⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⡤⣴⠄⢀⣀⡀
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⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁

and no im not rascist, rascism is a crime, and thats for black people

speaking of, i wanted to paint my computer black so it would run faster

now it doesn't work.

why is there cotton in pill bottles?
to remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers

why are pills white ? because the work

So I was banging this super slutty chick, yea ?So i am thinking to myself "she probably got AIDS" so i get tested, and guess what, behold, i got AIDS now. This gets me thinking " Where the ♥♥♥♥ does an 8 year old get AIDS ?", "Who has my sister been hanging out with ?"