Recent reviews by lvl 4000

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to leave a proper review for a game, prasing it's exceptional mechanics and level design, but you have an irresistible urge to write "Goat-bunny-cat lady, please sit on me!" instead?
Quite the dilemma, indeed.

Certified kusoge. But if you really must, wait for a deep sale.

More like DOG: Aeon of $#!T.

As it is now this game should be a case study of development hell, unfortunate circumstances, bad game design, misuse of a well-known game engine - all blended into one dreadful concoction of tedious and boring half baked slog of a first person shooter.
Think I'm too harsh? Just check steam's global achievement completion data for WRATH.
Want me to elaborate more? Read other negative reviews, which aren't just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ about limited number of quicksaves, and pretend that I've wrote them.
As for me: I'm uninstalling WRATH right after posting this review, never to revisit it again.

2BUTT

So uhh, steam awards badge requires me to put out a review for a game that I've nominated. And uhh.. I nominate Eggwife for the "Outstanding Story-Rich Game Award". Hey! Don't judge me, I simply haven't played Baldur's Gate 3 yet, so that means Eggwife wins by default.
Now... I have some coal mining business to do, if you know what I mean ;)

Abhorrent combat gameplay. I can't wrap my head around how terrible it feels to play tunic: roll, that Cutie Mc Fox starts with, sword that is shorter than gnome's ♥♥♥♥, paraplegic parry animations, MFing lock-on system in the isometric perspective and throwables that are affected by the physics engine - all feel like an absolute garbage to use.
Music is bland. Visuals are simple, but unpleasant to look at, mostly because of the washed up color palette that clashes with eye-gouging visual effects and lighting. Manual, the main gimmick of tunic, is 50% window dressing for standard metroidvania power up progression, 50% FEZ puzzles.
The only saving grace of the game is the competent level design. And, if you're into the stuff like that, maybe, the fictional language cypher(which is somewhat deeper than 1 fictional symbol == 1 English alphabet letter).
If you want a competent 'what a twist!' game, where the twist actually affects gameplay, I wholeheartedly recommend The Messenger or Inscryption as much as I want to discourage you from playing Tunic. Hell, even the aforementioned FEZ I might consider to be a better game than this souls-like normiecore slop.

Edit: Tunic is better than the Witness, though, don't you dare to play the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Witness!!!

List of games that are literally perfect, 10/10:
- Metal Slug 3
- Contra Hard Corps
- Huntdown

Imagine being a western consolebabby who can't handle the sights of an ample bosom of a drawing of a japanese deity.
I sure can't.

Darktide, more like Dark Times... for playing ideo games... I dunno, better go play pizza tower or something.

Quake in a soviet setting, sprinkled with Duke 3D elements, decently difficult as well. Got some good laughs on the final boss level.