In my gaming life, I've accomplished the following titles:
Certified Speedrunner – Skipping Cutscenes Since ‘98
No Flask ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ – Chugs Estus Like It’s Beer at a Frat Party
The Spray and pray messiah – Misses 99% of Shots
Guild Treasurer – Bankrupted by Microtransactions
Poise Papi – "I’ll Take the Hit and Still Clap Your Cheeks"
Grand Architect – Builder of Useless Minecraft Mansions
Teabag Tyrant – Knees Get More Action Than Their Weapon
AFK Champion – Back in 5 (Never Returns)
Rolling Fat ♥♥♥♥ – Wears Heavy Armor, Can’t Move for ♥♥♥♥
The Fast-Travel Virgin – Walks Everywhere Like It’s a Pilgrimage
Certified Lore Expert – Watches 4-Hour YouTube Theories
Silent Assassin – Stealth Until One Mistake, Then Full Rambo
Dungeon Daddy – “You Pull, You Tank, I Watch”
Overencumbered Dumbass – Carries 500 Wheels of Cheese, No Regrets
Potion Addict – Snorts Health Potions Like It’s a Rave
Social Butterfly – Only Talks in Voice Chat When Muted
Side Quest Slut – Knows Every NPC’s Tragic Backstory, Main Quest? Never Heard of It

I'm with daddy