I'd like to introduce you to my butthole. Every morning after taking a perfect 130 degree shower, where I bend down and let the uncomfortably warm water cleanse my Ring of Perfection for a minimum of 10 minutes, I pluck any hair that dares grace my Red Halo. Once my shower ritual is complete, I squat down into a bowl of raw organic grass fed goats milk and let the nutrient rich liquid invigorate my Sin Socket. I then take an egg yolk from a locally sourced farmer that feeds his hens Whole Foods grains and gently rub it around my Pleasure Periphery, as the healthy cholesterol prevents wrinkles.

I take systemic measures to ensure that the physical appearance and form of my Defectless Starfish is kept intact by never sitting for more than 10 minutes, and only on a donut cushion. When I need to go poop *teehee* I only use my $7000 INAX Regio bidet, even if it means driving home from work. INAX really understands how I covet the sanctity of my Titillating Rosette. Of course I can't really introduce you to it out of wedlock, for I have taken a personal vow of chastity to maintain the purity of my Malefaction Chamber, but I will allow you to long for it.

Trash player, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cheater

+rep, verri god hod squat. veri stronk arrm. verrigood :o)