Most people don't know that back in 1912, Kraft mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and eagerly awaited its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

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Hi babe, I couldn't help but notice your bra strap near snapping from the colossal magnitude of your sloppy, giant, curvy, perky, lactosious breaticular boobs. Your fun sized blazing bazinga bazookas, your money making bosomous bing bongs. I bet they must be spewing with milk constantly, much like the velocity of Niagara falls: fast, dangerous, yet sexy and provocative. I can only hope to experience the true weight and glory of your gargantuan, epic, splendiferous milky mommy breasty boobies one day.

Hi Don Pepé El Guapo,

Thank you for your application to Team KFC.

We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for.

But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future.

Best Wishes,

Team KFC

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