grew up on a farm when I was 7 and my father used to abuse me. On the weekends we used to milk goat balls into our fruit cups and watch the sun rise. When I became 14 we joined a father son competition, I accidently stabbed my father in his middle testicle leaving him stranded on a freeway. I'll always remember my father for the way he used to anally abduct me. As I was turning 20 I noticed that I had the ability to remotely ejaculate into someones eye via bluetooth. I was the only child my father ever brought into this world, at night I wonder if I have a long lost brother out there who can also eat cheese through his butt crack. I mean, I'm not weird or anything its just that before my father died his last words were "horse penis", and as a loyal child I am out to defy the laws of gravity and anally decompress a box of orange juice. In school people used to tease me because my penis was located right on my forehead, little did they know I had the ability to smack them with my penis as soon as they blinked. I mean, it could have been worst, my penis could have been located in my mouth. See the way my penis came on my head is that I was born with a twin but my twin died. As we were in the fraternity process his penis got jammed into my head causing me blunt penis trauma and thats the way I became who I am today. Some might say Im weird but all I want is the world is to be able to order an episode of tropical tiger sex on demand for $4.99 in standard definition.