Recent reviews by Groodalicious

Its a jenky ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mess.

Imagine if Sekiro was a bad 2D metroidvania. That's Nine Sols. And, honestly, its a real shame. The music, art direction, the inclusion of actual story elements in a metroidvania, lovable characters, literally every part of this game is amazing. Except the actual gameplay. That...is ♥♥♥♥♥.

First off, the hitboxes are more of a suggestion than a rule. There doesn't really appear to be any rhyme or reason to WHERE/WHEN you can be hit by enemy attacks. You can't even mitigate the knockback in any appreciable way until after you have invested enough time to unlock that skill through skill points. So much requires you anticipate an incredibly lazy window of opportunity to attack, dodge, or parry. And of those option, you had better parry. Cuz that is really the only real answer to any given encounter. Nine Sols is PARRY: The Game. Dodging is offered, but not really. Because of the squishy ill-defined hitboxes, dodging has a 50/50 chance of actually helping you avoid damage. And blocking is only an option when you FAIL a parry. And the window for that is small.

The major crime committed by Nine Sols is that it demands flawless execution in a deeply flawed system. As the player, you are expected to perform perfectly, while also hand-waving the lazy programming that went into making combat a headache. And every tool to mitigate this lazy ♥♥♥♥♥ is locked behind progress.

Also, is it possible to make the Jade system feel any more useless? Clearly ripped from the Charm system of Hollow Knight (a much better metroidvania), I suppose its meant to let you build out abilities to suit a unique playstyle. But it is literally pointless. No combination of Jade seems to impact play in a way that matters or is even noticeable in the first place. It seems that this was done simply because a more popular, better made, game of the same genre did it, and no other reason since, again, it does not appear to actually influence game play in any meaningful way.

If you really want to play Nine Sols, I suppose there is nothing stopping you. But I might recommend pickin up Hollow Knight (if you haven't already) if you really need to scratch that difficult metroidvania itch. Alternatively, I am almost certain there is a mod out there that will let you play Sekiro as a cat.

Ubisoft proving once again that they suck at making video games. I started in the game on Hard difficulty because I like a challenge in my games. A real chance at failure gives my success more meaning. It feels better.

Not sure what I was expecting, but I couldn't survive the introductory set piece rail-shooter on hard. Rednecks got hands on hard apparently. Shooting like mad, attempting to cook the dynamite just long enough to ensure that it blew up pursuing pickups loaded with bloodthirsty zealots and generally enjoying the ride for the first 30 second attempt. But the enemy shoots back, and every shot seemed to hit me. Keep in mind, I had no in-game cover to use to prevent damage, and no agency in deciding the path of the truck I was trapped in. Needless to say, after 10 minutes and as many tries, I was feeling more than a little frustrated and cheated. So, rather than bang my head on abject failure 20 more times, I lowered the difficulty to normal. And here is where my indignation finally got the better of me. As an experiment, I wanted to see the difference in Normal and Hard. And ♥♥♥♥ you Ubisoft, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hacks. "Normal" is so laughably easy, that I literally did NOTHING and managed to survive the overly-long rail shooter intro. I did not fire a single bullet, nor fling one stick of dynamite. I listened to my NPC partner/driver spit insults at some cultists and congratulate me on shots I was not taking while he wildly whipped our bullet-riddled heap of a truck all over the road, and aside from hitting the CTRL key once or twice to heal, I did NOTHING. And finally survived the obligatory rail shooter of an intro. Are you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kidding me?

So once again, a AAA developer thinks that a difficulty slider simply means that the enemies hit harder and more often and ♥♥♥♥ all else. But the failure this time is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ egregious, that it literally means that success can be achieved by NOT EVEN PLAYING THE GAME. Great. I will probably play more of this still-birth excuse of a game at SOME point, but expectations are already incredibly low so don't expect my opinion to change much.

Its a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Megaman game. Stop trying to reinvent the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wheel, and just make a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Megaman game.

I am a long time Soulsbourne player and love almost everything about this game. The dark lore, the fractured storytelling, the challenging combat, etc. Its a Soulsbourne title through and through and I am a Soulsbourne fan. Why give it a thumbs down? Because 140 hours into the game and I realized that nothing was different anymore. Every new area/story beat is the same. Cave->Catacomb-Castle->Boss. 140 hours in and the pattern remained unbroken. The only thing thats changed is the damage you receive. This isn't to say that this pattern is bad. Certainly previous titles in the Soulsbourne stable follow their own internal patterns. But they don't do it for 140+ hours. I am not recommending it because it got boring. A good thing that went on and on and on until the impact of the gameplay and story became meaningless. A passenger in a car driven by repetition. I still haven't beaten it. I stopped on my way to get the giant's fire. Hard stalled out on Niall at Fort Sol. As a melee player, got some choice opinions on that fight btw. But after exiting out of the game, having both my patience tested and my spirit crushed, I realized that this felt like work. Not "work", like "Gee, this is difficult and really testing my abilities" kinda "work". But the "eye-rolling-heavy-sighing-coffee-to-go-9-to-5" dreary reality of modern life kind of "work". And it had felt that way for at least the last 20 hours of play. And I already have a job that makes me feel that way.

Again, I am not saying that Elden Ring is a bad game. It is a good game. A great game even. If it had ended about 20 hours ago. I know that the general consensus these days is "more game = better game". But I disagree. I sincerely think that a well made game knows how long its gameplay is actually good for. It's why no one plays Monopoly for the same 72 hours it takes to play Axis and Allies (if it's a SHORT game). Maybe I am just a heathen. But this pattern of gameplay isn't sustainable for me. Too much of a good thing and all that. So, I am not recommending it because it just got boring. And a game can be a lot of things, but it's not allowed to be boring.

I have not finished this game. I may never finish this game. But I am going to leave it installed for now. Who knows? Maybe all I need to is walk away from it for a while. Cleanse my palate a bit so the loop feels fresh again. But for now, I cannot recommend Elden Ring, and I will keep my fingers crossed for a PC Bloodborne release in the meantime.

Not a terrible game in and of itself. But clearly made by a team that assumed that difficult = souls-like. I am big fan of souls games. I mean, just check my history. But this game is horribly unbalanced, and heavily weighed down by tertiary mechanics. Good try, but try again Team Ninja.

It's Doom. I mean, what else is there to say? ID delivers again on a fantastic blast-fest with great level design and great action. I can't believe I waited this long to pick this up.

Harder and more brutal than the first. Apparently my love affair with abusive games is alive an strong.

This is the Shadowrun game I have always wanted.

Plagued by matchmaking making issues that will pit you against far more experienced players more often than not. For a game where success hinges on team work and cooperation, it certainly seems to attract an obscene number of CoD rejects. Power balance issues and as glitchy as a Bethseda title. I suppose on the upside, it is free. So there is that....I guess... It is entirely feasible that my complaints with the game are based on the growing pains of a title still in beta. However, it would be nice if the devs spent more time fixing the broken things, and less time building stuff for the in-game store. The short version is that you should probably wait until official release to even bother with this one. And if you are an LoK or Soul Reaver fan, prepare to be somewhat dissapointed.