She told me that she was getting very sick and that I would need to be the grown up around here. I hadn't been told to be the grown up since I was 13 when my father left the house and took me to his room, which had been redecorated recently because my sister had been born a few months prior. See I was just about to turn 13 when my mother and father told me that I was going to have a sister very soon. I had noticed for a while that my mothers stomach had gotten very large. I thought she was just getting fat haha. I digress though. After I was told about my sister being born here in the coming months I got stuck with the task of picking my own sisters name. I ended up going with Teddy. I chose the name after my teddy bear that I had to give up when I was 9. See that teddy bear and me were in it to win it. Through the thick, through the warm, didn't matter none. Though I was in the car on the way to McDonald's with my parents when I stupidly stuck my bear out the window to get some air.

our poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

"Wtf is a poop knife?"

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my ♥♥♥♥ed up family with their ♥♥♥♥ed up bowels. FML.

are you virgin

smells of cream cheese

you stink!

one of your finest signs pls