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ㅤ* A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
ㅤ* A skeleton walks into a pub one night and sits down on a stool. The landlord asks, "What can I get you?" The skeleton says, "I'll have a beer, thanks" The landlord passes him a beer and asks "Anything else?" The skeleton nods. "Yeah...a mop..."
ㅤ* Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ I'm here all week!