Say my name 3 times like CANDYMAN!

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#saucenstuff


Why do I love cs? Well… maybe, because is the best team based shooter of all time, because teamwork can beat raw skill, because when I first played it was on LAN and couldn’t understand why everyone was yelling, because 10 nerds shooting each other on a server could never be more complex, because winning gets addictive, because Kodiak had the cleanest plays, because Leet World and Gamer’s 1337 talk, cause 1337, cause cs is like baseball, while other shooters are like kindergarten fights, because Snape kills Dumbledore and from 1-10 how mad?, cause I’m not peeking that right angle up close to the corner, because metal core synced with 5 man spray-downs, jumping 1 scouts and autos, bunny hopping, climbing, long jumping and surfing, because all sorts of boosting, because CPL’s play hard go pro got tatted on my brain, because of CAL, ECO, CEVO, XPL, ESEA, and EMS, because cool your jets bro. Because they call me ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and I call them mr. small dickens pointy hood, cause of friendly Canadians, cause I’m a saucer who used to play pirate 1.5, loves 1.6 and plays GO on every chance, because I call boiler, generator, palm tree and oranges even tho they’re gone, because according to people regarding my ping I’ve been from Africa, then Mexico and now Brazil, because with 50 fps, a 15’’ and 150 ms I’ve rekt kids with the dopest rigs, because WADDUP NOW SWEDES and Yo who’s aug is this? (When aug was unusable). Because CGS, and San Fransisco Optix and Mexico city’s FURIA, because my cousin milo opened the first GAME-SPOT LAN arena in the city and suddenly school went from second to third place, because of Kenstein, Desko, Carlito’s Way, raiN, Ceron, Nadye, T3ch, Jean Luck, sbs-, pipo, cuerVo, bon1ce, chucky, nero, m&m ice, v1ncho, KalZtep, RaMsicK, calvo, Pepsi, ZisKienD, Kalium, Broly, l1ncer and the rest of players from about a decade ago, even tho I was too young for a bunch of ‘em to remember me, Because Excessive Core and Afi, Nuzh, saMb1-, Jse, Grimper and Ultris, because FLTUE OR RIOT, because Allstars 1 and 2 (and cki made it in it because he is the GOAT), because I was proud when Hadouken made it to CAL M, because if I jumped to the corner I wouldn’t get fall damage, because ff to let pople know someone was afk, and because PIZZA’S HERE and all 5 players dc-ed, because I could’ve been great playing someshit else, but I stayed to get at least decent, cause the one thing better than clutching, is acing while doing it, cause muscle memory and spending ages on DM’s, cause tapping, bursting or spraying is up to you, cause my team had the funniest train names on de_train, because running back to spawn after 2 kills to buy a mac-10 on pistol round and ninja defusing, because of accurate calls and “ooh he toggled”, cause I miss my flashlight and spray-paint but they gave me skunky skins and stickers that go with ‘em… or maybe it’s just because CS is more than a game, CS is the best esport.

I still eat hate-O's for breakfast.


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