wow taylor swift in your friends list?! you must be pretty up there! (for a canadian..) so like do you know if she um... got that thang on her?

Hey buddy, I keep trying to call you but it's just going straight to voice mail. Hanging out with you was really cool and I appreciate you taking the flight over here but you left your kid here like 3 months ago. He's speaking Latin and he's starting to scare my wife. I know you said he'd been growing quick but at midnight be grows to almost 7ft tall and goes back to normal in the early morning, is that normal? i've never had kids before but its freaking us out a bit. Anyways bro please come get your kid, he ate the entire cow I JUST bought and put in the freezer.

this man changed my life substantially when he showed me the secret tunnels belonging to the lizard consortium under new brunswick

I LOVE SMOKING METH WITH YOU BOSS!!!!

Heard you know how to break dance, I think that's pretty hot. Send me a DM and I'll get you a job dancing in my club

I am the KING of DOCKING