The greatest trick the Dave ever pulled was convincing the CSGO community he was VAC banned.

I am the greatest CSGO player

-Dave

B̸̈́̋̅̋̿͗̂͘͝͠ͅḘ̴̮̯̯̫͖̬̀̃̅̈͜ ̸̯͔͛̈́͐̓̔̍̈́͜͝Ṇ̷̯̻̳͙͓̞̯̊̉̉̂̊͠͝Ö̴̝̮̰̉̆̊͗̚̕T̴̛͈́̓̈́͊̊̈́͘ ̵̥̳̝͚̥͕͓̯̿͂Ą̷̫͚̎̈́̀̈́̑̄̽̚͠F̸͎̯̹̤̩̺͐̈́͑̐͝͝R̵̗͇̰͑́̌̈́͗̍͘Ą̸̡̛͈͍̱̰͉̝̬͍̈́I̵̧̨̛̯̺̮̯̗͇̖͑̆͗̀̎̍̀͘͠D̷̳̭̝̮̭͋̃̆͆̽̋̕͝

Hi, I am Duckie, if I may have a moment I would like to ask if you would consider vouching me as trial administrator on Eden NA. Are you through with rule breakers getting away with blatant illegal behavior? As an administrator on the server I will personally oversee the population and ensure that the rules are being followed, vouch for Duckie today. #makeduckieadmin2020 (This message was sponsored by Knights Templar.) https://pk-eden.com/index.php?topic=94.0

What a Gamer! Leads a Faction in a 12 year old turkish game.

70 hours? Wow, a real gamer!

preach, Merry Christmas, Zak

♥♥♥♥ ur joining the military? which branch

if you die in the military can i have your account please

Hmmmm didnt think you were alive till you made that annoucement

MERRY CHRISTMAS!-Felix

shut up you trap

This is the parent of the Minecraft user. How dare you curse at my child? Number one, I watch her play on Minecraft and she was NOT hacking. As she stated her computer lagged and caused it to appears so. Also, her grandmother was dying and DIED today. She was not using that as an excuse.. she was upset over the ban and her grandmother. She tried to reasonably address the ban and appeal. She is not the one who stooped to the juvenile behavior of cursing. She uses Minecraft as an escape and was on to get her mind off her grandmother. Then she has to deal with a bunch of pimple-pocked face geeks that live in their mother's basement because they have no life outside of a little Minecraft server.
Oh.. and if don't think I know what I'm talking about regarding servers/hacking.. I have my MBA in IT Management and work in Engineering. I KNOW what I'm talking about…

pls ♥♥♥

All three parties bled to death. It was in the news the next day. The Gardevoir recovered, but was forever in a tortured state of slavery.
Misty shook as she read it. She wept and her mind grew jaded and hateful. She was alone in the world now. Nobody she loved. Nothing. Alone.
She drew a pokeball from her belt and opened it. Staryu appeared next to her. "Staryu," she blushed, and looked at him through teary eyes, "would you do anything for me?" "Starr," he echoed. Her ♥♥♥♥ burned. She needed it...

they had back home. Memories of his mother and father, how they wanted him to succeed. They wanted him to come home, to spend time with their baby boy. Of his first love, the girl he never got over. Her name was Misty. She wanted to see him again, she had sent him a letter only a month earlier saying she wanted to be with him again, that nothing felt the same without him. What was he doing here?
He couldn't stop his hands, they moved on their own, twisting out Joy's cervix, bit by bit, and slitting his genitals. At last the leathery bag was open. They gripped his testicles and pried them out, forcing them into his mouth.

He drew one hand out of her weeping puss, much to her protest. With the other he gripped her cervix and twisted. Pain cut her and she clenched her teeth and moaned, cleanly chopping her father's ♥♥♥♥ off as he came. The doctor fell backwards and the nurse sat up straight. Her vision blurred from the pain, but she was just barely able to see what David was doing.
He had drawn a knife out of his pocked and driven it into his urethra. His ♥♥♥♥ opened wide and he screamed, but kept pushing hard, down into his ballsack. Blood gushed forward and he puked, bile adding to the horrendous pain, but he couldn't stop. Slowly memories of him and Gardevoir flooded back, all the fun

The doctor ♥♥♥♥♥♥ her from the opposite side of the table. Her young tongue slid over the top of his ♥♥♥♥, teasing the helmet. He bucked wildly, shakily. He had not had sex since his wife had died ten years ago, and sometimes had dreams about his daughter. He tried to ignore them, push them to the back of his mind. But he could never help his sick fantasies. Sometimes he'd "accidentally" walk in on her dressing or showering, and would think about it later that night as he choked himself and petted his shriveling member.
David began to grow bored, his maniacal, slowly-splintering mind needed more horror to satiate it. It was a curse, but one he enjoyed.

In strode the doctor the nurse had called for earlier. Her father.
He stopped, shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of him. "W-What are you, what are you doing to my little girl?" he murmured. "Shut the ♥♥♥♥ up you old bastard and get the ♥♥♥♥ over here, her mouth isn't going to ♥♥♥♥ itself!" David shouted, forcing his voice above that of nurse Joy's. She was horrified that her father had walked in on this, horrified at all the blood and what she had been coerced into, but she couldn't stop. Lust raged inside of her, overtaking all other motor functions.
"♥♥♥♥ me, daddy," she said, grinning a bloody smile. Her pleading eyes met his and before she knew it, her father's wrinkly, liver-spotted ♥♥♥♥ was in her mouth.

weighing how much fun he was having with being told what to do, he decided to insert his next fist.
Her tendons popped and squeaked as he forced the other one inside slowly. Her cleft opened wider, and wider still. She screamed in pain and pleasure until her throat bled almost as much as her ♥♥♥♥. Blood streamed down his arms, mixing with her ♥♥♥ until his shirt and the floor were soaked.
There was a knock at the door, followed by the turning of a handle.

"No, please.." she gasped as her vagina slowly spread and grew used to the probing digits.
He inserted another finger and she gasped. This time her ♥♥♥♥ burned in protest, showing no signs of widening. She squeaked. He forced another finger in and soon he was fisting her, plunging his large, manly hands in as far as they would go, spreading her wider. Filling her.
"Moooree," she growled through clenched teeth, thick streams of saliva going down her cheeks, "♥♥♥♥ ME HARDER YOU PEACE OF ♥♥♥♥."
David didn't like this however, and punched her in the gut. She lurched forward and gasped. But then, weighing how much fun he was having with being told what to do, he decided to insert his next fist.

He lifted her and placed her upon the desk. Her legs spread and she leaned back, forgetting that she was on the rag, and gave herself to him. He lowered himself to a knee, ripping off her clashing blue underwear and explosing her rosy, dripping hole. He gently tugged on the string sticking out, drawing a blood-soaked tampon out. It fell to the floor and thick chunks began to seep out. She burned for him, for this complete stranger. His fingers moved into her, rubbing the rough spot just inside the warm tunnel. his red tongue slathered her clit. He sucked on it and hummed. A dizzy, buzzing feeling filled her head and she began bucking, screaming in pleasure. Soon her screams of pleasure became those of pain as he forced three fingers into her tight ♥♥♥♥♥. She hadn't been with a man in so long..

David's hands began to unbutton her blouse, revealing a polkadotted bra clasping two melon-sied breasts. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the office," she said with as much courage as she could muster, but didn't stop him. He pushed her up against the computer terminal and mouthed her nipples. She gasped as he bit one, teasing it with his tongue. He sucked on it and she lurched, not noticing her hands slide down to his hips.

He slid up next to her. "How does it look, nurse?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Not very good, I'm afraid the rejuvenation chamber won't be enough for--" "No, not the pokemon. Your ♥♥♥♥."
At this the nurse spun around. A hurt look flashed across her face and she bit her lip. She was exactly sure how to handle this situation. It was true that she was constantly horny. She never had time for anything outside of the hospital. Her ♥♥♥♥ tingled at the prospect of being split. She eyed the door. Should she run? Should she have sex with this complete stranger? "He seems dangerous..." she though, but as she did her thighs pressed against themselves, pinching her slowly enlarging clitoris.

"What happened?!" she said, stroking Gardevoir's hair with the gentleness of a mother. "I'm not exactly sure," he muttered coldly, "I found her like this out in the forest," tears formed in Joy's eyes and she scooped the poor pokemon up, taking her over to the rejuvenation chamber for dying pokemon in another room. After flipping the switch the chamber filled with gases, obscuring outside eyes. Joy didn't mind that David had followed her in and closed the door, she was too busy studying a complicated-looking readout now appearing on a computer screen.
She bent over low as she typed slowly, a complete novice with computers it appeared, and as she did her skirt teased her thick ass. Her thigh highs squeezed her legs delightfully. She was a delicious woman, and David would have no problem finding out just how delicious she was.

moved his ♥♥♥♥ near her she would tilt her head, trying to find it, just as a baby searches for a nipple and automatically begins suckling.
She was infected, though. Mold grew upon her anus and wounded eye. Her vagina was yellow with infection, discharging constantly. She wouldn't make it another day.
David rushed to the pokemon center, Gardevoir in his arms. He came up to the reception desk and there was Nurse Joy. Her eyes first when to David's dumb smiling face, but then down to the pokemon in his arms and she gasped.

moved his ♥♥♥♥ near her she would tilt her head, trying to find it, just as a baby searches for a nipple and automatically begins suckling.
She was infected, though. Mold grew upon her anus and wounded eye. Her vagina was yellow with infection, discharging constantly. She wouldn't make it another day.
David rushed to the pokemon center, Gardevoir in his arms. He came up to the reception desk and there was Nurse Joy. Her eyes first when to David's dumb smiling face, but then down to the pokemon in his arms and she gasped.

Through the pain she sucked and finally he came. As he did, his mind cracked a little more. He gripped her head, forcing his ♥♥♥♥ into the back of her throat. She vomited again, squirting half-digest plant matter all over both of them and he lashed her. Her tiny bones splintered under his blows and he came harder at her destruction.
Weeks later David finally found himself at Cerulean city. Gardevoir wasn't looking very good. She didn't respond to vocal stimuli and couldn't see out of the eye he caved in, but he felt no remorse for it. Even so; he felt glad. She was mentally broken. His attack had transformed her into the perfect sex slave: when he

David didn't like that at all. No, she wasn't allowed to injure him. He drove his bleaching fist into her mouth. There was a crunch and black syrup welled up in her mouth and eyes. She gurgled, and he smiled gleefully. Disengaged from her mangled secret, he crawled up to her face. Lifting her broken head he plunged his ♥♥♥♥ into her wounded mouth.
Gardevoir could take no more. She gave himself over to him. He was her master. She would please him any way she could and never make another whimper in reply. She suckled on his piece as he pulled it in and out. Cracked lips smothered him, teasing glands and glans. He gripped her arms, squeezing tighter. More pain roared through her and she sucked harder. She gagged, puking a little. The bile stung him, so he drove another fist into her eye.

He flipped her bleeding, limp body over. His mouth met hers, lashing about inside of her toothed maw. He kissed hard and deep as he carefully fit his ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ into her pokevagina. The head slid in easily and she whimpered. With a deft hand he massaged her clitoris. She tried to pull back to cry out but he pushed into her harder. She screamed into his mouth. The vibrations filled him in ecstasy. He violently penetrated her and wave after wave of pleasure engulfed them both. It was beyond the realm of human understanding. Collapsing universes whirled about them, being born and dying in an eternal, idiot firestorm.
As he came again he thrust harder, forcing as much of himself in as he could. His penis crashed into her cervix and she let out a blood curdling scream, clawed hands digging into his flesh.
.

what the actual ♥♥♥♥

The sight of Gardevoir laying there, whimping, smeared with mud, blood, ♥♥♥, and her own feces unlocked something deep within David's soul. His heart soared at the sight. It felt so good! It was like he finally discovered his place in the world. While his spirit had become free, however, his mind quivered under the weight of his actions, struggling to block these memories from existence, enabling his attack.
His mouth lowered in primal instinct, extending his pink tongue. He lapped up her blood and ♥♥♥♥, using pruned fingers to smother himself. It was beautiful. The bitter taste of her poop, and the coppery taste of her blood was like magic to him.
"Gardevvv..." she moaned, hands digging into the dirt. She wept. How could she do this to him? Pain was splitting her because of him. He said he'd never hurt her, though... maybe he wasn't? Maybe this was fine...

He ran a hand over her leafy posterior. A probing finger slipped in between, finding a hole. He knew little of the Gardevoir anatomy, but knew that any hole would work. He plunged his rock hard ♥♥♥♥ deep inside of her anus. It was white hot. A wave of pleasure washed over him before the first stroke. Gardevoir screamed in pain, her precious anus being pulled to four times its natural size. With each thrust she screamed louder, but David couldn't hear it. The crevasse formed tightly over his shaft, gripping harder than his fist ever could. Before long he finally came, filling her sphincter with his seed. White mixed with black blood as he pulled out. Blood and feces dribbled out.

WE DONT WANT YOUR FAN FICTION DINGAS

He put a loving arm around his Gardevoir, pulling her close and whispered; "Gardevoir, you know that I'm your trainer, right? Your master?"
"Gard," she nodded in agreement. He nodded in return. "And would you do anything for me?" "Garde," she nodded again. He moved another hand to her, sliding it over her wasp waist and looking carefully into her eyes. She seemed to begin to understand, a look of fear welled in her eyes. David could feel a lump in his pants swell as he began to force her upon the soaked ground. The sky rumbled with thunder all around them, the tree above them creaked threateningly.
The best thing about a pokemon is that they'll never be able to tell anyone about it.
In a flash his pants were off and he was atop her. She squealed and struggled, afraid to fight back because he was, indeed, her trainer. Her mind had a block in it, via years of training, years of believing he'd never harm her, that he was her best friend.

"Garde..?" she whispered to him soothingly. "No, I'm fine Gardevoir. I just wanted some to be with," he replied, barely audible to the young pokemon above the ripping winds. A shallow tear formed on the rim of his red eyes but was blotted out the rest of the water that coagulated on everything within sight.
She patted his shoulder. She was so cute, even for a pokemon. Her thin hips swayed, her plant-like hair messed by the storm. No, no, what are you doing, he thought. She's an animal.
But yet she was so much like a human, only smaller, and covered in fauna. Plus there was no one around for miles, and no amount of masturbating could satiate the lust he felt out in the wilderness... if only he could feel the flesh of a woman against his.

Rain spattered across the sand, causing a deafening roar, like that of a hundred semis crashing into each other in apocalyptic glory. The crack of thunder split the insanity, and wind swept it up into a cacophony of natural horror. All the while David sat glumly, shielding himself from the gale beneath a rather large tree. He was soaked to the bone and miserable. Lost in Kanto, with no map, no pokedex, no food, and no company other than his beloved pokemon. He was sure he'd die of hypothermia or worse.
David sighed, clinging tightly to his umbrella which proved of little worth except for some sort of moral booster. His soaked blond hair clung tightly to his body. With an absent hand he fondled the pokeballs on his lap. He clicked the switch on the front, releasing Gardevoir, to stand beside him.

HOO RAAH

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post this on ur friend's profile if they are a true oof crusader

u gay

| i need this in my lifre
|
\ /

HOBOMAN: Do you think I'm beautiful?
ZAKROS: No
H: Do want to be with me forever?
Z: No
H: Do u even like me?
Z: No
H: Would u cry if i walked away?
Z: No
She heard enough and was hurt... She walked away with tears in her eyes
The boy grabbed her arm
Z: Your not pretty...your beautiful
Z: I dont want to be with u forever...I need to be with u forever
Z: I dont like u...I love u
Z: I wouldn't cry if u walked away......I would die if u walked away.
Z Whispers: Plz stay with me
H: I will...
*Tonight at midnight your true love will realize she/he loves u
*Something good will happen to u at 1-4pm
*Tomorrow it could be anywhere!!!
*Get ready for the shock of your life!
*If u dont post this to 5 other comments... You will have bad luck in relationships for the next 10 years

Where did ye go boi?

Get on, ♥♥♥♥♥♥

http://nara.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Factions

Aww... Dave you should know Zak dosen't talk to girls!

Girl: Do you think I'm beautiful?
Boy: No
Girl: Do want to be with me forever?
Boy: No
Girl: Do u even like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would u cry if i walked away?
Boy: No
She heard enough and was hurt... She walked away with tears in her eyes
The boy grabbed her arm
Boy: Your not pretty...your beautiful
Boy: I dont want to be with u forever...I need to be with u forever
Boy: I dont like u...I love u
Boy: I wouldn't cry if u walked away......I would die if u walked away.
Boy Whispers: Plz stay with me
Girl: I will...
*Tonight at midnight your true love will realize she/he loves u
*Something good will happen to u at 1-4pm
*Tomorrow it could be anywhere!!!
*Get ready for the shock of your life!
*If u dont post this to 5 other comments... You will have bad luck in relationships for the next 10 years

What in Yaroglek's name did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little Nord? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Reyvadin Archery Academy. I've been involved in numerous marksman defenses on the Nord border and I have over 300 confirmed war bow headshots. I am trained in defensive warfare and I am the top marksman in the kingdom's army. You are nothing to me but just another Huscarl. I will put an arrow through your eye with precision, the likes of which has never been seen on Calradia, the only thing you can do is dull my arrows. - Love, Zeta

What in Graveth’s name did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little Sarranaid? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Yalen Corssbow Academy. I’ve been involved in numerous top tier sieges on Sarranaid Castles and I have over 300 confirmed Crossbow headshots. I am trained in siege warfare and I am the top corssbowmen in the king’s sharpshooters. You are nothing to me but just another peasant. I will murder you with elegance and clean perscion, the likes of which has never been seen before on Calradia, mark my words. -Love, Dingas

What in Ragnar’s name did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little Swadian? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Sargoth Axe Throwing Academy. I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Swadian land and I have over 300 confirmed rapes. I am trained in pillaging and I am the top axe thrower in the king’s shieldwall. You are nothing to me but just another peasant. I will murder you with savagery the likes of which has never been seen before on Calradia, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ runes. -Love, John