I had a dream we were playing rugby and u got too close to me in the scrum and I was like ayo daddy chill

-Rep After a good game in CSGO, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CSGO and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a CSGO lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then back stabbed. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy

Boas mano, sobre ontem, desculpa, eu perdi o controlo, realmente não tinha nada a ver eu ter gritado contigo, nem ter falado aquelas coisas de merda... quem nunca errou que atire a primeira pedra!!!
Pensei bastante esta noite, realmente muitas pessoas tem amigos homossexuais! eu não vou deixar de falar contigo por causa disso, é a tua opção e eu respeito, ontem quando tu assumiste ser gay, foi um choque para todos, eu sempre odiei gays, por isso eu stressei-me na hora contigo... não esperava isso de ti mano...mas vi que foi muito infantil de minha parte, foi mau mesmo ... Tu sempre foste um camarada e não são as tuas opções sexuais que vão estragar a nossa amizade!

+rep Nice friend and seller <3

Ola, eu chamo me carlos, tenho 27 anos gosto bastante de comer dai ser obeso, sou tetra campeao de croche, tri campeao de de ping pong e ainda sou campeao intacto de nataçao em piscinas sem agua e estou como sou no alta defeniçao

"Hail Mary, I'll rape the virgin clit."
"The powers that be invested in me; planting my malevolent seed. Your screams make me erect."

"I almost don't want to dissect that childish ♥♥♥♥, but I come swinging, wielding this blunt club."

"Smashing as this ♥♥♥♥ is gushing, licking at her oozing blood-soaked labia."

"It is so arousing eating out her anus. Elbow deep, force-fisting, digging for her foetus."

"I have my grasp on the son and I sever. Her consciousness slips as I birth my new spawn."

"Now we must feast on the uterus on the name of the sacrament."

"Feast my son!"

"Now we must feast on the uterus on the name of the holy sacrament."
Chomping on his mother's womb
Like father like son, he begins to fondle

My lord, my love, kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth
How lovely art thou, thy embrace
My lord, my lord, my love, my soul salvation
Take me to thy lap