Recent reviews by Cap'n Thicc

SULLIED ME AFTERNOON THIS GAME DID. Absolute ROTTEN DOODOO lads. Game gets stuck on loading when ye launch it, so ye gotta alt+F4 and relaunch fer it ta even START. Then it could randomly freeze post game at any point. Suppression doesn't exist, map design be lackluster, AI be runnin' around like brainless powder monkeys, NO ONE ever revives ye, and all that aside, tha servers have contracted some sort o' DIGITAL SCURVY as even with gigabit internet, I be bouncin' around worse than an empty barrel in a cargo hold, durin' stormy waters.

Aye tha new guns be dandy, tha movement mechanics be bett'r, graphics be obviously improved, but none o' those be enough ta warrant wastin' yet time on this game. EA really be scrapin' tha barrel here, with sales and having boob streamer e-wenches poorly play tha game in a desperate attempt ta sell more copies.

5/10 overall score. Would rather scrape barnacles off tha side o me keel with a rusty shucking knife than play this. Thank Poseidon that BF4 still be active.

Dear Hunt: $h*tshowdown team

Fix your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ servers. You charge $15 dollars for skins and battlepasses but cant get decent servers? Tired of shooting people point blank in the head and the game decides my shots dont register. Damage model is also pure ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded, where a rifle shot followed up by a pistol shot doesnt kill someone but 2 pistol shots can, cuz reasons.

Thanks for all your extremely stereotypical racist characters btw in your attempts to be woke. Last time I checked, my people dont look like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ or snake charmers.

EDIT: 2 seasons later and the game servers still ♥♥♥♥ their pants. The game's reconnect system is bugged AF, so if you time out, you reconnect to a frozen screen and have to kill your character off anyway -.- glad to know the devs are buying sports cars with all the random cosmetic DLC money, instead of having functional servers...

Game gets stuck on launch, looking for updates, but when you abort the updates, it launches the launcher, which then tells you "steam authentication failed, please launch the game via steam", but if you leave the error open, the game starts downloading in the background, in the launcher. If you close it though, it shuts down the game.

Tldr; the game is so f**ked that its failure to launch bug, has a bug.

DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. 3RD PARTY LAUNCHERS NEVER WORK

Everyone who gave this a positive review, including those working in the ever worsening ViDeO gAmE "journalism" industry must be either smoking crack or smoking crack because this game is EXTREMELY BORING AND SHALLOW.

- Characters are 1 of 4 tropes, all of which are lame and forced
- Nothing to do in the game but boring quests
- Can't craft anything, weapon/clothing mods are lame, and NOTHING like what you'd expect
- The "planets" are glorified cells with no depth, but hey they look nice am I right?
- Companions get progressively more lame
- Combat and gunplay is awful, and outdated, repetitive, and NEVER exciting

This entire game could've been made INFINITELY better as a point and click adventure, cuz it practically is a glorified one.

Don't even get it on sale. Find an unfortunate enough friend on steam who already bought it, log on to their account and try it for yourself to see how bad it is, and then proceed to uninstall it while comforting your friend for having made the terrible decision to buy this game.

Absolutely love it. 1st game is a must play too. Lore is deep and inspirational, gameplay is fun, and I'd honestly recommend this game to every single person, just for the philosophical and existential questions the lore raises lol

I got this hellish game as a gift and was forced to play it to completion. just google boob, get 2 million result. repent.

Bought the game for my cat cuz he likes to paw at the floating bubbles n stuff. Turns out he likes the bouncing titties too.

The anime tiddies are okay for me too I guess, I dunno.

Nice laid back game to casually play, when u wanna just relax

friend and I found a bunch of deer at a watering hole, and str8 massacred the whole family, so MP is pretty fun too

10/10 would commit crimes against deer again

ATV DLC needs to be free/super cheap tho, cuz running everywhere SUCKS, especially since all the characters develop severe asthma after running for 2 seconds

PEOPLE RP ALL THE TIME, PLAY SMART, AND ARE FUN

GAMES ARE INTENSE AND PACED WELL IN POPULATED LOBBIES

MECHANICS ARE AWESOME, WELL BALANCED, AND DEVS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD

THIS GAME GETS MY PIRATE SEAL OF APPROVAL (I literally get drunk on rum, wear the same cosplay outfit that I'm wearing in my profile pic, and play this game. Doesn't get better than that)

Pros:

• Sometimes fun with friends (if there aren't Chinese hacker deathsquads around)
  
• Shenanigans in the pre game are fun
  
• Learn insults in other languages
  
• Crapping on noobs and beating hackers is super satisfying

Cons:

• Horribly optimized (I get 60+fps with Vermintide 2 and Rising storm: Vietnam on high, I barely get 50 in PUBG on low)
  
• Bugfixes take literal months to patch and are not prioritized
  
• Roblox has more accurate weapons and balistics than this game (leaning literally curves bullets, negates recoil, and tilts gravity, and they can't fix it cuz it's engine based)
  
• Hackers are guaranteed to be in every single game
  
• Most new content is blatant moneygrab bs like crates and skins (THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO ADD A DLC AND LITERAL $30+ SKINS)
  
• The Chinese invasion
  
  UPDATE: LMAOOO THEY "released" THE "game"
  
  They literally just saw DayZ and realized people like killing each other a lot so they made the mod and then the game. 10/10 would rather insert a rat in me own anus