․・。․・゜・․・・․・・゜・。․・。․・゜・․・・․・。․・゜・․・・․・・゜
You never really liked me, did you? Not in the way I liked you. You liked the idea of me, the convenience; the way I showed up when you were bored, lonely or needed someone to fill the silence. You liked someone who replied fast, someone who cared deeply, someone who never made you question where they stood. You liked the attention, the validation; the comfort of knowing someone was always there for you, even when you weren't giving much back, but me; the real me, with emotions, with needs, with expectations; that version of me was never what you signed up for. Because the moment I asked for effort, the moment I wanted consistency, the moment I needed reassurance instead of confusion, everything changed. That's when you started pulling away. Replies got shorter, energy shifted. Affection turned into distance. And that's when it finally hit me. You were never in this for me. You were in it for what I could give you. The way I made you feel important, the way I listened without interrupting, the way I stayed even when I was hurting, the way I gave love freely without demanding it in return, I was safe for you, comfortable, predictable. But you never planned on meeting me half way. And what hurts the most is realizing that the person who gives the most usually ends up being the one forgotten the fastest. I replay everything now, every conversation, every moment I ignored my gut. I see how I confused mixed signals for love. How I mistook attention for intention. How I kept telling myself, maybe they are just scared. Maybe they need time. Maybe one day they will choose me the way I chose them. But wanting someone to choose you shouldnt feel like begging. And love shouldn't feel like you're constantly proving your worth. I stayed longer than I should have because I believed in potential, because I saw what it could be, because I love the version of you that only existed when it was convenient for you. And that's the hardest truth to accept, that the connection felt real to me but optional to you. Though now I am done asking questions I already know the answer to. I'm done waiting for explanations that will never come, cause silence is an answer, The distance is an answer. Effort or the lack of it is an answer. You never really liked me. Not enough to stay, not enough to try, not enough to choose me when it mattered. And for the first time I'm not angry about it. I'm just learning how to let go of someone who only loved me when it was easy. I'm choosing myself now, even if its hurts, even if it takes time, because I deserve more than being someone's option when I gave them my everything.

․・。․・゜・․・・․・・゜・。․・。․・゜・․・・․・。․・゜・․・・․・・゜・。


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