Comrade, North Korea is truly the most advanced Juche dictatorship in the world.
First, we have abandoned traditional streetlights and instead have beautiful women directing traffic. This inspires our male workers and gives our female workers a standard to strive for.

Next, we are so progressive in environmental issues that we don’t turn on our lights at all! Unlike those imperialist Americans, Japanese, Chinese, or South Korean, we make a commitment to our night skies.

We are so pro-animal rights that we give those poor parasitic worms a place to live in our citizens’ bodies. After all, those worms deserve as much a place in our lives as dogs and cats.

We have the world’s most advanced socialist music, with the beautiful idols in our first girl group “Moranbong Band!” We only allow patriotic and inspiring lyrics in our songs; you will never hear us denouncing our country or its people!

Our animation industry far outstrips the American and Japanese imperialists. Our cartoons aim to instill a patriotic spirit in our children from a young age, and by including graphic violence, our kids will surely know what do do with America. By the way, we like making America look really badass and cool, even though they’re supposed to be the enemy.

Plus, we have transcended time and created our own time zone, while our brothers in South Korea have to share a timezone with Japan! Now our adversaries will quail in fear from their inaccurate clocks!

So now, comrade, can you see why North Korea is so advanced?

From Joey Kim himself.