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R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Upplåst 22 jan, 2018 @ 6:34

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Upplåst 15 feb, 2017 @ 11:25

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Upplåst 20 feb, 2017 @ 11:38

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Upplåst 2 maj, 2022 @ 12:00

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 11:59

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Upplåst 11 dec, 2022 @ 10:40

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 5:29

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 23:22

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Upplåst 29 dec, 2018 @ 11:01

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Upplåst 1 jan, 2019 @ 3:07

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Upplåst 6 jan, 2019 @ 7:53

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Upplåst 19 jan, 2019 @ 8:07

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Upplåst 29 jan, 2019 @ 0:47

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Upplåst 1 mar, 2020 @ 1:59

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 13:11

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Upplåst 29 dec, 2018 @ 7:51

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Upplåst 20 okt, 2019 @ 12:43

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Upplåst 19 jan, 2019 @ 7:16

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Upplåst 20 nov, 2022 @ 10:08

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Upplåst 20 okt, 2019 @ 12:20

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Upplåst 29 dec, 2018 @ 8:18

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Upplåst 1 mar, 2020 @ 6:58

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Upplåst 19 jul, 2019 @ 8:58

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Upplåst 29 dec, 2018 @ 11:21

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 23:31

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 11:50

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Upplåst 27 dec, 2018 @ 12:45

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Upplåst 15 feb, 2017 @ 11:22

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 23:35

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Upplåst 18 feb, 2022 @ 11:53

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Upplåst 19 okt, 2019 @ 11:52

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Upplåst 11 apr, 2018 @ 1:41

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Upplåst 5 apr, 2020 @ 11:34

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 5:22

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Upplåst 20 feb, 2017 @ 11:38

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Upplåst 1 jan, 2019 @ 3:07

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 23:19

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 23:35

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Upplåst 21 okt, 2019 @ 13:16

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Upplåst 20 okt, 2019 @ 3:30

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Upplåst 19 jul, 2019 @ 9:06

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Upplåst 20 okt, 2019 @ 12:16

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 4:56

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 5:31

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Upplåst 20 jul, 2019 @ 13:13

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 4:43

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 13:27

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 13:10

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 5:32

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Upplåst 28 dec, 2018 @ 9:44

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Upplåst 1 jan, 2019 @ 3:07

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Upplåst 1 mar, 2020 @ 1:02

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Upplåst 29 dec, 2018 @ 11:21

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Upplåst 19 jul, 2019 @ 8:57

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Upplåst 7 sep, 2020 @ 7:05

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Upplåst 7 sep, 2020 @ 6:36

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Upplåst 23 nov, 2022 @ 11:24

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Upplåst 23 nov, 2022 @ 11:24

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Upplåst 2 mar, 2020 @ 7:15

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Upplåst 14 feb, 2017 @ 4:55

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Upplåst 23 nov, 2022 @ 11:24

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Upplåst 29 jan, 2019 @ 0:50

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Upplåst 31 jan, 2022 @ 10:14

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Upplåst 8 feb, 2022 @ 12:02

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Upplåst 8 feb, 2022 @ 14:09

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Upplåst 9 feb, 2022 @ 12:15

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Upplåst 18 feb, 2022 @ 11:58

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Upplåst 30 jan, 2022 @ 3:59

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Upplåst 22 jan, 2018 @ 13:11

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Upplåst 24 mar @ 15:52

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Upplåst 8 feb, 2022 @ 13:37

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Upplåst 23 nov, 2022 @ 11:24

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Upplåst 24 mar @ 15:52

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Upplåst 9 feb, 2022 @ 11:51

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Upplåst 2 maj, 2022 @ 12:07

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Upplåst 24 mar @ 15:52

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Upplåst 19 okt, 2019 @ 11:54

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Upplåst 1 mar, 2020 @ 6:45



Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
+3

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