꧁Internet Killed The TV Star!'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:36pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 11:21pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 11:53pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:34pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 11:57pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 10:15pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 11:39pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 12:46am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:44pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:35pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:49pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 1:12pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:35pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:48pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:36pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 1:12pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:36pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:34pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:45pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 1:11pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:49pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:44pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:35pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:36pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:34pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:45pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:33pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:37pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:44pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:42pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 10:17pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 11:20pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:34pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2015 @ 11:14pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:46pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:48pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:34pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:33pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:44pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 1:11pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:35pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2015 @ 2:46pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

0 / 30

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

1 / 30

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

0 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30