I've played a lot of bad games, even intentionally, as I always have believed there's things to be learned and even found humor in just how bad it is. But let me tell you, there is not one. single. redeeming thing about Kane & Lynch 2.

For some reason, the developers went with this idea to have a cameraman follow K&L in the journey, however, neither characters ever acknowledge that this camera man exists. When it's the three of you in an elevator, one of them explicitly says 'We're just two white guys in an elevator', so one might think maybe this camera man doesn't actually exist? Except for the fact that when they get captured, one of the police comes over an puts his hands over the camera, acknowledging that this is infact a real person. So why does this camera man exist? They exist solely to provide the most nauseating experience in gaming. It's a cameraman with full on parkinson's disease with the framing ability of an orangutan. Every cutscene is dealt with dizzying camera movements, wildly spinning around in circles, typically pointed at nothing in particular, and removing you from the ability to actually see what is happening, like someone came from the school of the Bourne series. The game also censors nudity and headshots (but not all headshots) as if I'm watching this video on youtube, and the loading icon is the buffering icon in case you needed to be reminded that you could be watching something more entertaining on youtube instead.

There's several types of guns in this game, pistols which are fairly competent, sub machine guns which feel like I'm shooting a garden hose when pointed at any target that is greater than 10 feet away. Assault rifles that are the go to, shotguns for when it's 30 minutes in the game and you could've swore the weapon icon showed that it wasn't a shotgun. Sniper rifles that don't have a scoped sight despite enemies getting scopes when they aim at you, and a couple of others. This is a cover based shooter where cover occasionally will just do nothing at all and you’ll still get blasted by the enemies directly in front of you. Also I had dozens of occasions where I would literally see them spawn in by just popping into existence.

They gave you a sprinting ability in this game, which immediately makes the game look like it's being thrown through a dryer cycle. Half the time you can't see enemies approaching or even what direction you are going in. One might think to simply not use it then, however the game throws numerous large open fields that you can either spend triple the time going through or just deal with quick motion sickness. Oh and there's numerous chase and 'hurry up' sequences throughout the game. It's unavoidable.

During the numerous shootouts, K&L incoherently shout at each other despite how small of a room they are in or close they are to each other, and as if they constantly need to remind the audience (or the camera man) who is who. The typical dialog exchange goes as follows.

"KANE!"
"LYNCH!
"I CAN'T DO THIS KANE AGHFBHTH!"
"SHOOT THEM LYNCH"

I want to point out that I did not do a typo, Lynch will randomly incoherently ramble and shout throughout the game, and the subtitles won't cover it despite everything else. So you might think he's still the incredibly unbalanced psychotic man from the last game, however this time he seemingly got himself a girlfriend. We see her for maybe one scene before we learn her true purpose, to get raped and murdered off screen. This girlfriend character was already completely unbelievable enough but now I have to believe that Lynch cared about her. Lynch did not need an additional reason to murder people, that's literally all his character is, an incredibly violent, non empathetic man. Oh and how about Kayne? He doesn't really need to be there, he exists solely to remind you that the Jenny ending from the last game is canon as he whines about the fact that she still won't talk to him.

Speaking of the endings and the story by the way it couldn’t be more garbage. K&L are in town for an arms deal but it goes wrong when, before the arms deal even takes place, they shoot someone’s girlfriend in a completely unrelated shootout. What happens after that is boring shootout after shootout where everyone from the people they were with to the arms dealer, the police, the military, then the gang all try to hunt them down and that’s what leads to this games woman in the fridge moment.

SPOILERS

After the girl’s death K&L decide that they can’t win this fight and flee, only to be caught and placed on helicopters, they then see the lead bad guy’s skyscrapper and decide to hijack the chopper and attack it, despite literally saying a moment ago there is no chance they will win. So they put a gun to the pilot’s head to fly along the side of the building while they shoot, and yet the other police choppers decide to try to ram you like they’re playing Battlefield. So I guess K&L literally found the most cowardly pilot in the force.
After landing in the site they shoot their way to the final boss while the other police helicopters start shooting up the skyscraper. Oh so where is the boss? In a room that is completely shot up to pieces, completely by himself. He dies in a cutscene. I’m seriously getting angry just remembering this crap. The final mission has you hijacking a commercial plane where it just ends after you succeed. Oh and the cameraman gets left behind on the airstrip.

END SPOILERS



I could site the game's incredibly short length as a negative but I might have to say that it's the sole positive, that I was spared from an eternal torment. This should not be bought by anyone, it is a closet torture device meant to drive its viewer insane. At least they got through the whole game without making a single Chinese racial slur. Oh wait, the British villain does.

Also when this game came out, some critics gave it a 9/10, others above a 5, they are both wrong.