As a working man, I dont have a lot of time to play video games. Therefore, imagine my shock when I come home from a long day at the factory only to see that my favorite playtest is having issues. I am recently going through a divorce, and Dark and Darker has been my only solace in the recent days, but unfortunately its just starting to feel like the days are just getting darker and darker. I understand the Devs are trying their best and I dont want to be a downer, I just want to support the game as much as possible! Based on these assertions, I feel it's only fair that we extend the playtest an additional month, so that players like myself can have a fair shake at this one!

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to- penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.

Update: Just escaped from the pentagon, the government is sending all their military forces to pursue me, my life is currently in extreme peril. They attempted to strip my ability to suck my own penis but I created a shockwave to blast away the researchers before they could touch me. This is bad, I have exhausted all my chromosomes and now I have to hide and replenish my energy while the patrol helicopters fly over me.