Recent reviews by Tree Hair

Edit 12/11/24: Captain did it.

Edit 12/11/24: Just beat the game, Obra Done. Never in my life have I seen a game condense this much dopamine in a(n) 8-10 hour game. Lucas Pope is a legend.

Had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was expecting another brisk jaunt through a game full of strong world building, unique art style, and interesting narrative, like Papers, Please.
I was right about everything, except for the brisk jaunt.

Make no mistake. This ship will whoop your ass.

I went into this game without my brain cranked up to 11. This game demands the deductive reasoning skills of a real detective. It's incredibly satisfying, but incredibly frustrating. Writing this during my second play through because I rage quit the first. Now that I know what I'm getting into, I'm sure I can stay calm.

312 hours mod free, im ready to experience the full game

saatana mita vittu perkele paskapaa helvete fy faen

Edit 11/28/24: Updating for the Steam Awards task. Been sitting on the final fight of the DLC waiting for a patch. One came out a month or two ago, now I'm just stalling. Best DLC for a souls game. Ever.

Edit 8/1/24: Just beat the game again, haven't beat the DLC yet. 2022 me really thought Mountaintops of the Giants was hard smh. Elden Ring went from one of the most beginner friendly, balanced souls game yet to the most challenging, ball crushing souls game ever. Not knocking it, but watch out for this DLC. If only past me knew the horrors I would witness. 5000 damage criticals only doing 8% of a boss healthbar. Bosses that fill your entire camera and mess with your lock-on. This DLC will break lesser men, and I have yet to see what I am made of.

Edit 11/22/22: Editing the review so I can get the steam awards badge. Still a GREAT game and if it doesn't get game of the year imma be RIGHT ♥♥♥♥♥♥ PISSED.

Edit 5/16/22: I'm printing out a shirt that says "I beat Radahn pre-patch."

I would really rather have more hours under my belt before I write this, but I just beat it so it should be fine.

The game is good. Its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ incredible. Easily GOTY. Does have a few hiccups, naturally. If you buy this now (and you should) all the stuttering and framerate issues are patched out. But at the time of writing, the balance issues are not fixed. I'm not sure they are gonna fix'em, either. In previous FromSoft games, you could safely level Vitality every now and then throughout the game and beat it without too much trouble. With Elden Ring, you could have put 40 levels into Vigor and you still get 2 shotted (which with how I-frames and combos work, it's basically a 1 shot). Mountaintops of the Giants is an immense difficulty spike that I was not expecting, and it nearly broke me. Crumbling Farum Azula would've been worse if it was bigger.

Most these issues have a lot to do with my playstyle. I never use shields, I like strength builds. I'm planning to do a shield ONLY run next, so I'll see how that goes. Anyway, doing pure strength is not a good idea. A lot of enemies and bosses in this game are just so much easier to deal with from far away. Some are borderline impossible to deal with using only melee. So the way you choose to play the game will definitely affect the difficulty.

But you know what? I beat it. And I didn't just beat every boss required to beat the game, I beat EVERY BOSS. And I enjoyed all of them (except malekith jesus christ). Basically, I GOT GUD. And it payed off.

In summary,
Buy the game.
Level Vigor.
GIT GUD.

oooh ooOOOoooOOOOooohh ooh ooooooh

oooOOOOOOOooooOOOOooooooh

ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOo

oooOOooooOOooooooo

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN

took about 10 hours to beat hyper hexagonest. not sure what else there is here for me but we'll see.
10/10 buy the game now

legit almost cried ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ get this game

GNOAM

its portal brah

dont need to make this review but yeh buy it