Erm... What the sigma?

Wʜᴇʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ, ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ,
I ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴀғᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ

+rep tcoaal is the best

I found out per your request:
So, appointments for hemorrhoid treatment are conducted on Fridays, starting at 9:00. Please bring with you:
- clean underwear;
- Vaseline "Slippery Entry",
- sterile surgical gloves size 7
- for a prolonged and successful procedure, a pear-shaped enema bulb (small enema for children), an Esmarch's cup, a sterile nozzle for the hose, an enameled basin.
It is forbidden to consume food products that cause excessive gas formation 2 days before the procedure! You're welcome...

Jᴜsᴛ ᴀ ɢᴇɴᴛʟᴇ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅᴇʀ: Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴛʜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴄʀᴇᴅɪʙʟᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴄʜᴇʀɪsʜᴇᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴜɴɪǫᴜᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʙʀɪʟʟɪᴀɴᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴄᴀᴘᴀʙʟᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ.

Hᴀᴘᴘʏ Fʀɪᴅᴀʏ! Hᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋᴇɴᴅ ɪs ғɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ɢᴀᴍᴇs!