Two fish are in a tank. One is driving and the other one is operating the gun.

Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

A magician was driving down the road when he turned into a driveway.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."

A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help.
Helium doesn't react.

Knowledge is knowing tomatoes are a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad, and philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.

Two chemists walk into a bar.
Bartender asks, "What'll it be?"
The first chemist says, "I'll have some H2O!"
The second chemist goes, "That's a great idea, I'll have some H2O, too!"
The bartender serves them their drinks, they both take big swigs from their glasses, and then the second chemist dies.

Mighty Ape Referral Link [www.mightyape.co.nz]