10/10 human being all around great guy recommend

Fun Fact: I can't read.

Fun fact: You're reading this.

Um, do we know each other?

Hi TK Gorgnak, I'm About As Disappointing As They Get.

I called work this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough."
He said, "You have a wee cough?"
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"

What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?

Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright...

merry christmas chance?
merry christmas chance.
merry christmas chance!

Not anymore

Actinium
Aluminium
Americium
Barium
Berkelium
Beryllium
Bismuth
Bohrium
Cadmium
Calcium
Californium
Cerium
Cesium
Chromium
Cobalt
Copper
Curium
Darmstadtium
Dubnium
Dysprosium
Einsteinium
Erbium
Europium
Fermium
Francium
Gadolinium
Gallium
Gold
Hafnium
Hassium
Holmium
Indium
Iridium
Iron
Lanthanum
Lawrencium
Lead
Lithium
Lutetium
Magnesium
Manganese
Meitnerium
Mendelevium
Mercury
Molybdenum
Neodymium


Neptunium
Nickel
Niobium
Nobelium
Osmium
Palladium
Platinum
Plutonium
Polonium
Potassium
Praseodymium
Promethium
Protactinium
Radium
Rhenium
Rhodium
Roentgenium
Rubidium
Ruthenium
Rutherfordium
Samarium
Scandium
Seaborgium
Silver
Sodium
Strontium
Tantalum
Technetium
Terbium
Thallium
Thorium
Thulium
Tin
Titanium
Tungsten
Ununbium
*Ununhexium
*Ununpentium
*Ununquadium
*Ununtrium
Uranium
Vanadium
Ytterbium
Yttrium
Zinc
Zirconium

Spidey, that's the most metal thing you've ever said.

You've probably thought about this too, but sheep would be a lot cooler if they were just wool and bone. If you were to sheer them it'd just be a skeleton left behind. Pretty rad.

Idk, man. I think my professor might figure out that I'm not using my own code.

for your deepest darkest desires ;)

+1 204-331-3150

HAHAHAH OMG SPIDEY

Do you think Anne Frank ever saw Home Alone? Would have been a real game changer in my opinion

...but your honor, if you are what you eat, then by definition I am an innocent man

Son: How do I catch a fish?
Dad: Easy, just throw this clickbait into the water.
Son: Got it, what's next?
Dad: What happens next will shock you.

that moment when daddy is hitting mommy, and daddy is actually a bear, and mommy is actually you, and you're actually getting mauled by a bear

+rep boosting me on bo2

real-live knick-knack patty whack

Bring up a band that he doesn't like... he's pretty therapeutic when he's trying to talk you out of liking the band

lol kk, uhhhh who is u again??

shhh Spidey shhh

secret?? pffft

my secret LOVAHHHH

Technically, we're all half centaur.

literally the best person ever

MELEE WUT IS the <3? thing

Name lookin very, VERY suave today :o

"I honestly believe that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. For instance, if you decided to sell pine cones, I bet you would sell, just, an absurd amount of pine cones."
~Yoda (circa 1944)

Breaking Potter™

Best Therapist on Steam Award

#NationGoals

Leaving my mark on humanity

MERRY CHRISTMAS MEELEE

shark parks