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DO NOT SHAVE ASS HAIR.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to alt.tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble sh-itting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my asss-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my *********. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my asss of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My asss was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two assscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my asss off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sh-it/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my asss cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own ♥♥♥♥♥ blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my asss at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for asss-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fa-rt, only to have it get stuck between my *********. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fa-rt that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your asss having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, don't shave your asss-hair.

get it 😍😍 the joke is that 🤯🤯🤯🤯 the woman is about to lift her shirt🤯🤯😰😼😼😼😼 but the video 📼📼📼 cuts ✂️✂️✂️to something else,2,2,2,1,?1?1!1!1!1!1😅😅😅😅😅😅😅the joke, is sex!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😼😼😼😼😼😼 i cant believe op trolled🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌me like that!1!1!1 i literally had my ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦💦in my hand ✊✊✊✊✊✊what a silly goober‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️‼️‼️‼️❕‼️❕‼️‼️‼️‼️❗️❗️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥❗️‼️❗️❗️‼️‼️‼️🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩💥

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play rust sometime its a really cool survival game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

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croxx

Ich dacht ich schau mal vorbei und kack dir ins profil
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2999999259923478990124999995689902993413269916749953349999914649932724997
2994567809912568990139956799809929936781467998299634699818991169966144990
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2994567801992689901239967899029939945745315319931253399436998011992349950
2998012345299999388352999991039953991232012479934673289999982640499999415

Step1: Highlight the numbers
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My grandfather smoked his whole life. I was only 10 years old when my mother said to him, "If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately." Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- "Dont ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28 I have never touched a cigarette. I must say I feel a slight sense of regret never having done it, because your crosshairplacement gave me cancer anyways

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Wir möchten uns für die
Nutzung von You-Porn bedanken. Bereits 70
Ihrer Sex-Videos sind online!
wir weisen Sie darauf hin, dass das Hochladen von
Videos in denen Sex mit Tieren,
Männern und Frauen über 60 und Minderjährigen vorkommt
laut unseren Allgemeinen Geschäftsbedingungen
strengstens untersagt
ist. In den von Ihnen hochgeladenen Videos
"Anal mit dem Wal", "Blasen mit der Rentnerbande"
und "Warten am Kindergarten" haben Sie erneut gegen
diese Vorschriften verstoßen. Wir sind nicht
bereit Ihren Mangel an Anstand und Moral länger
hinzunehmen und teilen Ihnen mit, dass bei erneuten
Verstoß Ihr Zugangsprofil "die geile Oma19"
unwiderruflich gelöscht wird.

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