TIMKA's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 12:17pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 1:09am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 12:08pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 9:44am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:23pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 10:27am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 9:50am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 7:40am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 9:26am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 12:06pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 2:27pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 9:38am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 2:00pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 9:09am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 2:54pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 1:08pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:18pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 11:14am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 8:06am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 7:35am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 2:23pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 3:51am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 10:18am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 3:34am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 3:40am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 8:11am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 11:07am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 6 May, 2015 @ 7:37am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 8:19am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 10:34am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 12:45pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 2:19pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 10:45am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 4:11am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 12:05pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 10:01am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 1:30pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 3:05am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

13 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

7 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,775 / 5,000