I am a lord gentleman who owns a fancy cigar factory out in the wonderful country of Russia. But pish posh with that. My real occupince is an explorer of the middle east finding oil, gold, loose women, and the foundation of the worlds most deadly newt... Yes a newt, I know you ponder on the question why a newt? Well you see here I need these deadly newts to make my most famous cigar "The rapscalien of the east." You may never heard of it because how eliquent it is to smoke and how many are in varity, you see here these deadly newts are a very rare find. Also I have lost many men the get the little dasterdaly rascals, you see here their venom is a deadly acid that can make a man's face melt off with one drop of it. One other thing I fancy in, is Destroying gurken cigar factorys. Well see here they are a rival company and to keep my company higher than theirs I send in my best under paided workers to bomb the rival cigar factoies.