+rep happy birthday <[:^)

hey, sowwy *sees bulge* I saw youw pwofiwe and I just *whispers to self* t-t-thought you wooked c-cute in youw pictuwe, I weawwy x3 w-wanted t-to teww you that)) *huggles tightly* It's weawwy x3 wawe t-to see giwws pwaying v-v-video games haha?!?1 I don't knyow why its a guy thing honyestwy im wike weawwy x3 against misogyny and wike iww *notices buldge* be the x3 onye in the x3 kitchen making sandwiches. We shouwd weawwy x3 pway *notices buldge* w4d2 sometime its a weawwy x3 coow zombie game with a wot of scawy moments, *walks away* but don't wowwy iww *notices buldge* be thewe t-to pwotect you ;) *twerks* sowwy *sees bulge* that wasnt fwiwting *sees bulge* I sweaw Im just *whispers to self* t-twying t-to be fwiendwy I weawwy x3 wike youw pwofiwe pictuwe sowwy *sees bulge* was that too *twerks* f-faw!? Weawwy sowwy *sees bulge* i'm weawwy x3 shy (・`ω´・) I don't go out much haha add me on skype we *notices buldge* shouwd tawk mowe you w-wook weawwy x3 nyice and f-fun xoxo ^w^

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xoxo

joe mama lol

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂