Recent reviews by Punnilingus

This game gets a BIG recommendation from me. Finally, a game that combines hilariously fun gameplay along with creativity. This game manages to take the uggh factor out of the FPS genre and replace it with LOLOL.

There's something utterly hilarious about a guy getting his torso blown off, so all you can do is move your legs around until they finally collapse in a heap of spurting blood and oozing bodily fluids. Or, that if you get shot in the chest too many times, you're going to have a huge hole. Need to heal? That's fine - grab that green stuff and watch it fill your gaping maw in with organs and flesh (as if the two were different).

If you finally want a game where cursing is apparently encouraged (the game curses), and boobs actually do flop (albeit attached to an extremely large redneckish woman), then Loadout might just be it for you.

The ONLY way you're going to be able to fight is if you create a weapon to your own liking. Want a barrel that shoots 3 bullets at once? Done. Want a barrel that shoots multiple bullets at once? Done. Want a barrel that will shoot flamethrowing slugs at your opponent and burn them to a crisp? done, done, done.

This game is simply awesome. You create, you kill, you laugh, you steal (blutes), and then you think to yourself (why are these in-game cosmetics so damned appealing to me). All-in-all

10/10 every day of the damned week.

** Want to add, the internet connectivity has been a little wonky preceeding this review, so bear with it. This game IS fully functional, but they say it's still in beta so let's go ahead and believe the little buggers.

**Update

This game is f-u-ck-i-*-* awesome!

I keep changing my review from thumbs up to thumbs down. Why?

When the game initially launched, it was empty. Completely empty. You couldn't find loot anywhere. Heck, you could hardly even find a zombie to kill. That was 7 months ago for me (when I purchased the game).

I gave it 7 months for the developers to polish the game. Apparently it was sold (need confirmation on that). And of course, this all happened after the dev took 30 bucks a pop from a bunch of people for an extremely buggy mess of a shell of a game (yeah, I know that sounded wonky).

So I start the game and it keeps tabbing out, minimizing, but still running in the background with sound and even still able to hear myself walking in the game, but not able to see it.

This happened to a LOT of people with Nvidia graphics cards. So I gave it a negative review. Then I found a fix. . . . you have to update your Nvidia drivers to fix it.

So I gave it a positive review after fixing it and playing for about 15 minutes.

Then I kept playing it. And within about 20 minutes of gameplay, I realized I had done everything possible in the game. There isn't much of a 'survival' aspect to this game, unless you consider roaming from one uncompleted house to another looking for dumb things like wire and rope so you can make a fishing pole or snare surviving.

Or when you grab a different shirt because it adds another pocket.

Or when you grab a backpack to carry things.

Or find a random can of peaches in a horrible-looking house.

Sorry, but this game is basically crap. It has been EA for a year whilst still charging a premium price for a game that isn't close to being finished. The zombie fights are COMPLETELY buggy. The fights between you and other players in a server are COMPLETELY buggy (unless you think standing 15 ft. from someone fist-fighting each other while they hit you but you don't hit them NOT buggy).

Or that you click. . . . pause. . . .punch. . . pause. . . . "Aaaarrggh". . . pause. . . .and then watch blood spray in the form of red pixels flying from your body. Sorry, but nothing about this game is polished.

How about when you run? You head out to the woods 'cause you got some food and some stuff that you want to try and use to survive in the wilderness. . . Then you hit a very tiny incline and your character stops running completely, and slows to a walk that's 1/4 the speed of normal. And when I say tiny incline, I MEAN tiny incline.

The controls are buggy, the game is buggy, the gameplay sucks, and everything is rudimentary and unpolished -- this game has been 30 bucks for the last year that I know of -- for that price it should be foundationally secure with only features being the part that is needed to implement.

Every time you launch it, the devs added a message about how "this is alpha. . . the game is going to suck, because it's alpha and keep that in mind while playing."

Sorry, but you guys have had a year to fix this mess and you've actually made the game worse, in my opinion. This game really does suck. Do not buy. This is another one of those Early Access games where a developer puts some pretty backdrop, asks an arm and a leg for the crappy project, and then takes all that over-priced money to fund his [insert vice here] habit whilst forgetting about the game and laughing all the way to the bank.

Don't fall for this scam and to all those writing good reviews -- stop trying to justify your purchase by pretending this game is even remotely playable or fun -- it ain't. It's a horrible scam of a project that will no doubt be released at some point while the developer goes on to create another POS EA game that is for nothing more than taking your money and laughing in your face.

Buyer beware. Scam detected, and brought to your attention.

I must say, I would love this game a LOT more had they not stolen the idea from another company and then cartoonized it. You see, a German company (I think it was German) created a game VERY similar to this. In fact, the gameplay was pretty much exactly the same except the other game was very dark and adult-like.

Other than that, however, the game is wonderful. Essentially, you create a dungeon, level it up, make your dungeon harder to complete while you simultaneously go out and fight through other players' dungeons. When you fight in other players' dungeons, you'll grab loot to upgrade your character's stats.

I think the game could be a LOT better, but the game is really fun and I do recommend it to pretty much everyone - even small children.

Pros:
Great idea (even though it was stolen).
Silly.
Simple.
Sandboxish (to a point).
Fun to create and expand your own dungeon.

Cons:
It was someone else's game.
Too cartoonish (it should've been more serious).
Will get repetitive pretty fast.
After a certain level, play-created dungeons will be largely the same.
Camera sucks bad.
Too many different currencies.
Too many prerequisites for upgrades.

Yes, I have more cons than pros, but overall the game is better than it is bad (huh?). If you like something you can just hop on real fast and run through a couple of dungeons without the need to immerse yourself into something crazy, then you'll love this game.

I recommend the game because it's short, free, and soothing. Oddly, it kept me wondering what was going to happen. The perfect crescendo of the music, coupled with the changes in scenery and perspective make the game quite emotional. While you know what will happen, and you're able to prevent it, you can't seem to force yourself not to.

If you want to spend 6 minutes of your time enjoying life as a simplistic being such as the common housefly, then download this game and do it. You won't regret it. Maybe you'll be disgusted by the journey in that you don't do a whole lot, but you won't regret having spent 6 minutes seeing this fly's journey through to the end.

This event is comparable with all life. We are all just small creatures in a big world. We strive for companionship and we continue looking for meaning, but in the end, none of it matters; we do not matter. After taking this journey, you will realize that this fly matters; he matters because he wants to matter. Even if life has no meaning, we matter to ourselves and that's all we have in this world - we must keep on moving. To what end? Now that's the question.