Recent reviews by Johnny Bongwater

invested nearly 2000 hours of not going outside to do the things that going outside entails
i.e: going to bars, partying at a big house, pulling up to the function, deliberately avoiding the pointy green things on the ground, talking to (and smashing!!!!!!!) women, being a woke alpha sigma male chad or whatever the zoomies think they are (prolly like zyzz or trollge or smth idk), and getting brainrot

so if you got those things easily accessible irl, you really dont need this or need to ruin your life with this (unless you need to develop a 3d career of some kind haha)

dawg, this game is a crippling addiction.

first heard of this ♥♥♥♥ when my bro got an xbox, we were kinda poor nearly 9 years back. it was fun as hell, and hit me with some storytelling that went hard.

sometime later, i get a gaming pc, and i got back into warframe. (nobody in my friend groups heard from me for a good two weeks.) at some point, i went to my moms for the summer, and eventually lost a few things in my account, but over time, i have seen myself going back to this game just to play alittle more, usually i try to nowadays with my friends, and sometimes, my bro too.

i still get on from time to time, because i still find this game fun. thank you digital extremes, for making such a beautiful universe, and pouring the passion you did into warframe

people have been review bombing this title but not other titles.

why? well, activision's a greedy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ company, ill tell you hwat.

now, look; you're probably stumbling on this review at a later time, so let me tell you what i liked from mw22:
-fun guns and innovative gunsmithing system, not quite as good as ground branch, or some other tactical shooters, but it's good.
-cool gunplay, but still has dumb and gay meta weapons that metafags love to use to cope with the fact they cant use anything else
-shoot the ship is back, but youre shooting a pile of ♥♥♥♥ instead
-has dome now, but should have included that ♥♥♥♥ at launch
-more spec-ops, but not even remotely what mw2 and 3 had
-dmz exists but nobody in my friends list wants to play it because they lack situational awareness

okay, now you see me listing ♥♥♥♥ down, but im still writing down complaints, almost as if i'm dropping the mad ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hint that some developers cant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ take in their decision making.

now, you might be wondering, "well if you love the game so much, why leave a bad review?"

and i'll say, didn't i just say activision's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ greedy? well, they are, and these reasons may not be telling enough to the average gamer, but here goes:

-cod points exist, and they aren't earned through normal gameplay. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game.
-sbmm is way too tight, the moment i perform averagely, i get severely ♥♥♥♥♥♥ over by the system, and ill get ♥♥♥♥ games for the next 30 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ months
-i'm literally carrying my losing team in a losing game
-game was pricey at launch, wasted an extra 30 bucks
-the worst distribution of content ive ever seen. 100+ gigs to only play the same 5 maps and 80 of those gigs are spent on ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ skins nobody's even using in game
-dumb operator skins and no customization, not sure why nobody bothered with keeping this ♥♥♥♥ because it was a much better system than having operators. whoever made that decision should rot in hell
-♥♥♥♥♥♥ menu design choices
-♥♥♥♥♥♥ design choices that really holds this game back from being a step-up from it's predecessor
-♥♥♥♥♥♥ cosmetics store with ♥♥♥♥♥♥ overpriced garbage ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ skins that are really worth 2 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dollars. activision should really just give tons of fans their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ money back, i'm tired of all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ greed


anyway, uhhh people are review bombing this ♥♥♥♥ because they sent cease and desist letters to a bunch of modders who probably went to monetize their ♥♥♥♥ in roundabout ways. I don't know the full detes, I've only just been scrolling and hearing things, but it does suck when you are actually looking forward to one of the mods. but honestly, i don't really care until activision takes some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ criticism for cod and actually decide to look into what fans actually ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ want (but i guess gamers are impossible to please to them, even if what i've listed is probably a general complaint, criticizing their decisions, and sharing my thoughts and feelings on a game i was looking forward to playing with friends.)

update as of 4th of october: so yeah, completed season 5, and didn't enjoy my grind, and only wasted money to get a stupid alucard bundle, and by wasting money, i bought s6 of black cell to get all the cool ♥♥♥♥

anyway, the chummy review that holds up:

people have been review bombing this title but not other titles.

why? well, activision's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ greedy, they have the rights to some scripts that ♥♥♥♥ around with player parameters to thwart most gamer's actual skill 'for the less skilled' all primarily to make you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ buy their overpriced bundles (these bundles have always been a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ idea since 2019 because they give you next to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nothing for 20 bucks other than some flashy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ skin that any other game could probably sell a testiclejillion of if they sold all of it for a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dollar

also, i should be paying 15 to 20 bucks for some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ maps and maybe something worth my time for 20 bucks

now, look; you're probably stumbling on this review at a later time, so let me tell you what i liked from mw22:
-fun guns and innovative gunsmithing system, not quite as good as ground branch, or some other tactical shooters, but it's good.
-cool gunplay, but still has dumb and gay meta weapons that metafags love to use to cope with the fact they cant use anything else
-shoot the ship is back, but youre shooting a pile of ♥♥♥♥ instead
-has dome now, but should have included that ♥♥♥♥ at launch
-more spec-ops, but not even remotely what mw2 and 3 had
-dmz exists but nobody in my friends list wants to play it because they lack situational awareness or have no attention span

okay, now you see me listing ♥♥♥♥ down, but im still writing down complaints, almost as if i'm dropping the mad ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hint that some developers cant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ take in their decision making.

now, you might be wondering, "well if you love the game so much, why leave a bad review?"

and i'll say: "didn't i just say activision's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ greedy?" well, they are, and these reasons may not be telling enough to the average gamer, but here goes:

-cod points exist, and they aren't earned through normal gameplay. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game.
-sbmm is way too tight, the moment i perform averagely, i get severely ♥♥♥♥♥♥ over by the system, and ill get ♥♥♥♥ games for the next 30 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ months
-i'm literally carrying my losing team in a losing game every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ solo queue
-game was pricey at launch, wasted an extra 30 bucks
-the worst distribution of content ive ever seen. 100+ gigs to only play the same 5 maps and 80 of those gigs are spent on ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ skins nobody's even using in game
-dumb operator skins and no customization, not sure why nobody bothered with keeping this ♥♥♥♥ because it was a much better system than having operators. whoever made that decision should rot in hell
-♥♥♥♥♥♥ menu design choices
-can't play with friends cause my game either starts to mysteriously run like ♥♥♥♥ or sbmm goes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ haywire
-♥♥♥♥♥♥ design choices that really holds this game back from being a step-up from it's predecessor
-♥♥♥♥♥♥ cosmetics store with ♥♥♥♥♥♥ overpriced garbage ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ skins that are really worth 2 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dollars. activision should really just give tons of fans their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ money back, i'm tired of all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ greed


anyway, uhhh people are review bombing this ♥♥♥♥ because they sent cease and desist letters to a bunch of modders who probably went to monetize their ♥♥♥♥ in roundabout ways. I don't know the full detes, I've only just been scrolling and hearing things, but it does suck when you are actually looking forward to one of the mods. but honestly, i don't really care until activision takes some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ criticism for cod and actually decide to look into what fans actually ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ want (but i guess gamers are impossible to please to them, even if what i've listed is probably a general complaint, criticizing their decisions, and sharing my thoughts and feelings on a game i was looking forward to playing with friends.)

it's an amazing game with a comedic community, though you have pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ duel servers imo, literal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that want to study the school of drag will drag their swings to the point they will literally cross dress before their rapier hits you because, yeah, they dragged.

anyway, aside from whiny archer ♥♥♥♥ who potentially whine about people using spears and say they're the worst (not the case, they are just delusional crackheads) the community is pretty 10/10 very easy to troll, trust me try using the pewdiepie bridge word to make some dank friends!

When Godd Howard had updated the creation engine, many were shocked of the asking 60 dollar price on console, because of it's port to a next gen console. Many fail to realize that they too would soon find themselves finally awake, after being kidnapped by Godd Howard and faced Alduin again. Many villainize him, but our man, Godd Howard had made the game more moddable and slightly updated a few things, Skyrim SE is my go to, and with my 200% lore friendly mods and beautiful enb, this game still is something I still love and cherish. Thank you, Godd Howard, for letting me relive my Skyrim experience again, from when I first had it 7 years ago.

Yes, it's poorly optimized for lower tier machines, I uprgraded my videocard on my tower recently and I made a noticable difference, my previous card could run almost all games nowadays at 60, then again, back then had poor optimizations too. Now I'm getting a decent framerate (40-60fps) and now it's running great. Of course, there are PVP and PVE servers full of Alpha tribes and ♥♥♥♥♥, but that's just what you got to deal with, if ya don't like it, then don't play online with those people.

Again, with multiplayer aside, you don't need to complain about a tribe that's complete ass, but single player and friends is also fun, and if you want to, then you can ask a friend to make a dedicated server too, and run it PVP. That's fun, or you can play single player, and spawn yourself 63 million rare mushrooms and look like some russian popeye and tell your friend you found it off of some deadguy. But hey, singleplayer is amazing, multiplayer is just fine, there is an anticheat system, there are admins, and yeah, I love this game, they have this released along with DLCs, and that is also pretty cool, I might just get the season pass, because I'm pretty sure that they'll have 3 DLCs with unique items.

This is one of the most overlooked Call of Duty games, and in the words of The Act Man, it's like a breath of fresh air. Alot of people didn't touch it and go back to the older COD games, but if you're sick of ♥♥♥♥-tards in BO4, the deadness of BO3, then hop on this game and re-experience what made COD so good in the first place. You'll see alot of people coming back to this game with new and clearer eyes and alot of them can really appreciate this cod now compared to before. Though most of my experience may not be here on steam, and that's due to VAC ban, most of my time on Xbox has been wonderful, and I've only encountered modders there. (Mainly in FFA, seen some cowardly ♥♥♥♥)

dont mind my hours buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

if anything, you gotta love this game, arcade styled, but fun. you play as a man in a super rollerskate suit shooting robots and russians while smoking, to top it off, you got a lt colenel who gives you that whole family thing and cares for you

i originally played this on 360, as much as i loved it, never got past that one mission with the argus because i simply didn't know how

i figured it out on pc and figured out my life is a lie. and it is still a long story to get through

now i can cheat on my homework