Recent reviews by Outkast the Utility Worker

It's 11 AM, I'm writing this in the middle of Computer Science, and I've finished my work early. Hoo boy.

A summary to start: Buy if you like throwing bags and things related to throwing bags, and enjoy a more casual/toned down version of PAYDAY: The Heist, don't buy if you don't have friends who'll play with you, or if your expecting this to be PAYDAY: The Heist 2.0.

Let's start with the negative. People were pretty hyped up about PAYDAY 2 when it was first announced, right? And then the beta came out. And then release. It was like watching a balloon deflate. People were really, really expecting just more of PAYDAY: The Heist. Including me. I can't cover much more from here, but if you need to vent, /vg/ has you covered. (Don't tell Goldfarb though.)

Then there's the fact that despite the unexpectedly different gameplay and such, there is still a visible lack of variety in the maps. 2fort and Dustbowl are loved because it's a PvP enviroment; different variables in play every time, with a familiar map to keep it from getting overwhelming. Gets the beat going and uh, dropping. PAYDAY 2, is a PvE enviroment; Even with all the little differences in each heist, it ultimately amounts to the same map, same enemies coming in the same routes, and predictably, too. After the sixteenth time on Bank Heist, you know that Bain's going to yell that a chopper's coming in on the roof to drop gas on you, and that the enemies will panic and cower whenever you shoot your gun at them. It's predictable, and that's one bad part about PAYDAY 2 that it could've left behind.

Finally, after all of this, there's the other thing that it kept that people complain about; Experience. It's not tied to cash, yeah, yeah, but it's still a massive grindfest to get past level 75. The more levels you got, the more skill points you got- which can help massively in any job that you do. Getting to level 100 gets you to round out your specialized skills and get yourself to be able to pull things a bit independently at least. But it'll take a really, really long time for you to get to 100. Not Diablo 2 Nightmare, died in hell at 98 and your shooting for level 99 long, but with the additional size and power that PAYDAY 2 has access to compared to Diablo 2, I guess that there's something not right here.

So why buy this game? It sounds like a boring grindfest on one end and on the other it sounds like your doing a pile of small-time gigs. Why not just buy PAYDAY: The Heist for a Heist Simulator? Well, admittedly, somehow, PAYDAY: The Heist is less grindy than PAYDAY 2. Don't ask me why, but that's how I feel whenever I play it after PAYDAY 2. Maybe it's the faster enemies, or the fact the Bulldozer is fast, or maybe it's because there's no bullet dodging. Either way, PAYDAY 2 is much more casual- You can mindlessly shoot cops if you know what your doing. You'll clear out all of Washington DC's FBI HRTs and force them to start using FBI HRTs from across the globe (I know there is only really a few FBI HRT teams but it's funnier this way). You'll throw bags. And protect people throwing bags. And protect bags. And drills. Especially drills. The monotony adds up to a game you can play pretty casually once you get past the beginning and stay away from Deathwish. Oh, and [The power of Bert has redacted this sentence].

As always, friends make the co-op experience more fun. Remember to have friends to play with. If you want to play PAYDAY 2, but your friends are off, you'll have to compromise and play with the public. Which isn't much different, but if you enjoy planning things out and restarting until you get things perfect, expect those plans to crash and burn. Horribly.

In short, again, Buy PAYDAY 2 if you enjoy FPS action on a diet. If you prefer something more ambitious, tense and dramatic, consider buying PAYDAY: The Heist instead.

Postscript: There's cheaters. They usually don't mess with other people, or if they do, try to help SOMEONE(not always you) in some weird and twisted way that is probably confusing at first glance. That's the internet for you. Shrug, report if you want, and move on.

What is up with me and mindless grindfest games? Yes, Spiral Knights is uh, an old-school RPG for both casual and hardcore players? You might be able to see the part where the entire audience gets alienated by just reading that sentence. Regardless, After spending year on the game, I am willing to say that I immensely enjoyed the experience at the very least. Progression has significantly slowed since I started out, so grinding ahoy is abundant. Newbies grind so that they can get to 5*. The Vanguards grind because they have run out of things to do. It's rather clear that Three Rings is trying to do something about it, but their major game-adding updates are even less frequent than OVERKILL Software- And that's before we get into the mudpool that is what is a "major game-adding update". Some people think cosmetic boxes are. Others claim that chapeaus and tabards are not adding anything of value to the game. It's kinda tiring to listen to, so the gist of it is- Three Rings is kinda slow in development. Nothing any of us can do other than sit and play other games.

So why play this game? Did you enjoy Legend of Zelda? Are you one of those modern day children who seem to have their minds in the wrong era? Well, Spiral Knights seems to be targeting people like you. The difficulty at first is easy enough for even elementary students. Midway through, the game ramps up in difficulty rather quickly. By the end, either you'll know how to fight, or you'll be stuck in Haven wondering how to beat the monster of the week. Back to the point, it's clearly not hardcore enough for veterans- Complaints of how easy the game is even on Elite difficulty are abound. It's definitely not for little kids as their first game- Unless they stick around the beginning forever, they'll start getting mulched when they start fighting in Tier 2. So that leaves you, odd precocious children of the future. You are probably a better match for this game than any many other people. Cmon, it's free.

Well that's the bad, and the reason to play it. What's so fun about Spiral Knights? You get to run around and beat things up. In return, you get shiny coins, and materials to make better stuff to beat things up with. Oh, and feed your pet. Rinse and repeat. Explore the randomly-generated dungeon crawl. Find your favorite weapon, and when you become a reasonably good fighter, start using unfamiliar weapons because why not. Stare. Staaare. Oh, and there's beauty contests. I think. The last one I visited nearly got blown up by a hell raven, so I don't think there's any organized anymore. Oh well, you can dress nicely and people will wonder how you thought it up. That's something, right?

Overall, Spiral Knights is a pretty fun game for a Free to Play title. The only problem is- It feels like it's definitely not for everyone. Or, it is for everyone, but if anyone tries to move from their selected space, they find themselves in a vice, unless they are part of a group that I hope is bigger than what my experience tells me. Either way, it's free. Go give it a whirl, try to be friendly to everyone online, and if you stick around, congrats. You might be the next generation of sour veterans who wish for new content.