I wish I wasn't gay so I could stop getting turned on by "deez nuts" jokes.

It almost never fails. My best friend I got back home after baseball and he hit me with his infamous deez nuts jokes again. I hate that I fall for most of them and I hate how he delivers the punchline so sensually. "Imagine Dragon deez nuts across your face." "Deez nuts in your mouth" "Howsma ♥♥♥♥ feel in your mouth." "Stigma ♥♥♥♥ in your ass." At some point the jokes don't even make sense like "Let me stuff my ♥♥♥♥ down your throat." "Suck on my fat juicy nuts." Instead of me finding it funny, I just get turned on instead. I'm like "go ahead ♥♥♥♥♥ I'm waiting."

It's like that meme "jokes on you I'm into that ♥♥♥♥." It's worse when we're sweaty, naked, adrenaline still pumping in the locker rooms after a game right before a shower and he pulls out his wonderful jokes. It's like he's *trying* to make me hard on purpose. I'm almost certain he knows what he's doing. But I kinda love it. I joke back with him too and he falls for mine but I still feel a lot of sexual tension. How could you look another man in the eyes and say "I'm gonna stuff my ♥♥♥♥ down your throat." without someone getting a hard-on.

It's not gay to like sucking c0ck.

I'm a straight man. I like sucking c0ck. I find it relaxing and soothing and stress relieving, and when they come in my mouth it's satisfying. In the same way a baby is relaxed while breast feeding and uses a pacifier because it emulates sucking on a nipple and they keep sucking on it in hopes milk will come out.

So enjoying sucking c0ck isn't gay because it is a holdover from when you were a baby, the enjoyment comes from the act of sucking on something like a nipple and the satisfaction when the "milk" comes out, NOT because I like men.

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+rep definitely not a hacker