VHS's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 2:24am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2018 @ 9:43pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:55pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 9:26pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:44pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2018 @ 11:55pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2022 @ 1:13pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2022 @ 3:38pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2022 @ 10:29am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2018 @ 11:47pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 11:02pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2022 @ 10:46am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 9:32pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2022 @ 12:25am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2018 @ 12:06am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2018 @ 10:40pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:55pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:29pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:21pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:52pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 2:26am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2018 @ 10:22pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 11:02pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:54pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2018 @ 12:41am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 1:34am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 11:29pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

26 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

15 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

12 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

1 / 30

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

16 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

7 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30