playing this was a powerful experience as i have had the same symptoms as the protagonist for quite a long time. all over body pain. fatigue. flares of intermittent burning, tingling, and numbness primarily in my hands and arms. on high pain days i'm thankful that visual novels are my favourite kind of game, seeing as i can often let them play out before me without pressing many buttons.

earlier in december, after twelve years and a referral that took three years to go through and that, by chance, brought me to an expert in what turned out to be my specific issue, i finally got a significant diagnosis. there may be more to come, yet it's relieving to be diagnosed. still. it makes me angry that i count as lucky.

it's safe for me to say this game is *accurate*, at least in my experience. if you'd like a bit more knowledge on what it's like to be chronically ill while navigating the medical system, check this game out! but i encourage anyone curious to give it a try, even if you relate to the game. while not super in depth, it could likely either be validating or eye opening. at least a little bit.

the goal of this simple game is to get a diagnosis for what's causing your chronic pain. it's pretty much a simulator of the process, requiring management of meds, doctors, rest, fun, and work, to balance financial stability, mental wellbeing, and, of course, pain. everyday life stuff.

i suppose one thing it doesn't touch on is what comes after a diagnosis... after possibly years of seeking what you need, if you finally get it, it might be time for more targeted pain management (if possible), lifestyle changes, more appointments, and so on! but the initial diagnosis is perhaps the biggest hurdle.

so try to be gentle with yourself, if you are facing similar struggles as shown in this game, and with those around you who also have to push through similar systemic issues all just to have pain and disability - eventually, hopefully - taken seriously! the game is right: it's not fun. we often know our bodies far better than those who gatekeep care.

play the game if you're curious, though. (: it took me less than twenty minutes. it has some bright screens, but nothing that hurt me with blue light blocking lenses.

okay? ...okay. but either way, i love you. i hope you get some rest. 💙