God I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate Olaf the snowman so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as ♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of ♥♥♥♥ character design is endearing. His stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ twig arms? His ♥♥♥♥♥♥, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ little homunculus into the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ snow ♥♥♥♥♥♥, I like warm hugs". ♥♥♥♥ you. ♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥ you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ twig hair makes your whole ♥♥♥♥♥♥ head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ side character in a stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ the snow ♥♥♥♥ is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. ♥♥♥♥. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman