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18 of 28 (64%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2023 @ 7:35pm

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2023 @ 7:29pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2023 @ 7:29pm

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 20 Mar @ 9:57pm

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 20 Mar @ 10:29pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 20 Mar @ 10:30pm

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 20 Mar @ 10:25pm

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 9:02pm

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2023 @ 8:46pm

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Unlocked 2 Jan @ 8:00pm

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2023 @ 7:56pm

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2023 @ 8:06pm

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2023 @ 8:02pm

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2023 @ 8:22pm

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2023 @ 7:57pm

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2023 @ 7:44pm

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2023 @ 8:12pm

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
Unlocked 2 Jan @ 8:08pm



Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
+4

4 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked