I HAVE a sense of humor! I laugh at Tony Danza.

Ginseng tea?? I'm not gonna get hopped up on dope!

No got dang way, Bobby!

I sell propane and propane accessories.

I wasn't flirting with her! I didn't even mention that I worked in propane.

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

Bobby, if you weren't my son I'd hug ya.

Yep

GAY! I'm not gay! I sell propane and propane accessories!

Nobody likes a know it all who sits around talking about their genitalia.

The only woman I'm pimping is sweet lady propane! And I'm tricking her out all over this town.

Why would anyone ever smoke weed when they could just mow a lawn?

Bobby I'm going to tell you to do two things I hope you never have to do again, tape the Cowboys game and fetch me an apron.